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As a son: While parents are still alive, your clothes do not have to be purely plain. There is an orphan in the room, and his hat and clothes are not of pure color.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Xiao Zhonglang is the father-in-law of Sun Chenggong. Liu Yin was sitting in Fujun, and was about to be appointed as the Minister of Rites. Liu Yin said, "I wonder if Xiao Zuzhou can be one of the Three Dukes? From then on, he has been able to do anything."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Pei Sanqi married the daughter of Taiwei Wang. Three days after the wedding, all the sons-in-law gathered, including the famous scholars of the time and the sons of Wang and Pei. Guo Zixuan was present and started a conversation with Pei. Zixuan is very talented, but our first few friendships were not pleasant. Guo, Chen and Zhang were very powerful. Pei and Xu elaborated on what had been said before. Their logic was very subtle, and everyone present admired and praised them. The king was also surprised and said to the others, "Don't do that, you will be trapped by my son-in-law!"
Someone asked Mr. Lin: "How is Sizhou compared to the two Xies?" Mr. Lin said: "So it should be compared to Antiwan."
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