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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Han Kangbo was a few years old, his family was extremely poor. During the severe cold weather, he could only afford a jacket. The mother, Lady Yin, made it herself and asked Kang Bo to hold the iron. She said to Kang Bo, "Put on the quilt and make the scarf again soon." The child said, "It is enough. There is no need to make the scarf again." The mother asked why. He replied, "There is fire in the iron and the handle is hot. Now that I'm wearing chopsticks and clothes, the bottom should also be warm, so there is no need for ears." His mother was very surprised and knew that it was a national instrument.
The Master said: "Ritual is reason; music is moderation. A gentleman does not move without reason, and does not act without moderation. If he cannot read poetry, he is wrong in etiquette; if he cannot play music, he is simple in etiquette; if he is weak in virtue, he is empty in etiquette. "The Master said, "The system is in the rites, the culture is in the rites, and the practice is up to the people!" Zigong crossed the table and replied, "May I ask: Is Kui poor?" The Master said, "Ancient people? Ancient people. Those who are good at rites but not music are called simple; those who are good at music but not rites are called partial. Kui was good at music but not rites, so he passed down this name. He was an ancient person."
When Huan Xuanwu was the governor of Xuzhou, Xie Yi was the governor of Jinling. First, you should have a rough experience of being open-minded, and then you will find nothing unusual. When Huan returned to Jingzhou and was about to go west, he was in high spirits and Yi did not doubt him. Only thanks to Hu Zi and his wife Wang for understanding his meaning. Always said: "Huan Jingzhou has ulterior motives. He will definitely go west with Jinling!" Then he appointed Yi as Sima. After Yi came up, he still pushed forward his friendship with common people. Sitting in Wen, with his head bowed, whistling and chanting, there was nothing unusual about the day. Xuanwu always said, "I am the Sima of the outer region." Then he drank too much and neglected the morning and evening etiquette. When Huanshe entered the house, Yi immediately followed him. Later, when Yi was drunk, Wen went to the master and asked him to avoid him. The Lord said, "Without the mad Sima, how could I meet him?"
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, a minor official stole fish from a pond, and the emperor punished him for it. The king said, "King Wen's game park is shared with all the people. Why should I care about the fish in the pond?"
When Wen Bo died, Jing Jiang sat on his bed without crying, saying, "In the past, I had Si Zi, and I thought he would be a wise man, so I never went to the public office; now when he died, none of my friends and ministers shed tears, but the women in the house all cried loudly. Si Zi must have been very unruly!" When Ji Kangzi's mother died, he laid out his underwear. Jing Jiang said, "A woman who does not wear clothes dare not meet her parents-in-law. There will be guests from all over the world coming. Why should she display her underwear here?" She ordered to remove it.
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