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Zhang Xuan and Wang Jianwu did not know each other at first, but later they met at Fan Yuzhang's request, and Fan asked them to talk. Zhang Yin was sitting upright with his clothes folded in front of him. Wang Shu looked at him for a long time but could not make any comment. Zhang was greatly disappointed and left. Fan tried to persuade him to stay, but he refused to stay. Fan was Wang's uncle, so he said to Wang: "Zhang Xuan is the most outstanding scholar in Wu. He was also well-known at the time. But he was brought to this point. It is beyond comprehension." Wang laughed and said: "If Zhang Zuxi wants to make his acquaintance, he should come to see him." Fan rushed to inform Zhang, who then packed his belt and went to see him. Then they raised their cups and talked to each other, neither the host nor the guest looked ashamed.
The world calls Zhou Hou: as steep as a broken mountain.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
There was a morning auspicious event in Lu, but no one sang. Zilu laughed at him. The Master said, "You, you blame others, and never stop? The three-year mourning period is already long." Zilu left, and the Master said, "How long? If it lasts more than a month, it will be good."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
When Han Kangbo was a few years old, his family was extremely poor. During the severe cold weather, he could only afford a jacket. The mother, Lady Yin, made it herself and asked Kang Bo to hold the iron. She said to Kang Bo, "Put on the quilt and make the scarf again soon." The child said, "It is enough. There is no need to make the scarf again." The mother asked why. He replied, "There is fire in the iron and the handle is hot. Now that I'm wearing chopsticks and clothes, the bottom should also be warm, so there is no need for ears." His mother was very surprised and knew that it was a national instrument.
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