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Therefore, the rite of audience is to clarify the righteousness between the monarch and the ministers. The rite of marriage is to make the princes respect each other. The rite of funeral and sacrifice is to clarify the grace of the ministers. The rite of drinking in the village is to clarify the order of the elders and the young. The rite of marriage is to clarify the difference between men and women. Rites are the source of restraint and chaos, just like the source of water in the village. Therefore, those who destroy the old temple because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water; those who destroy the old ritual because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water.

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Confucius was sitting with Duke Ai, who said, “May I ask who is the most important in human nature?” Confucius looked sad and replied, “Your Majesty, when you said this, it is the virtue of the people! How dare I answer without words? In human nature, politics is the most important.” The Duke said, “May I ask what is politics?” Confucius replied, “Politics is justice. If the monarch is just, the people will follow politics. What the monarch does, the people will follow. What the monarch does not do, how can the people follow?” The Duke said, “May I ask how to govern?” Confucius replied, “Husband and wife are different, father and son are close, and monarch and minister are strict. Three If the ruler is upright, all things will follow him. "The Duke said, "Although I am not like you, I would like to hear the reason why I practice the Three Words. Can I hear it?" Confucius replied, "In ancient times, loving people was the most important thing in governing; the most important thing in governing people was courtesy; the most important thing in governing courtesy was respect; when respect is the highest, the great wedding is the greatest. The great wedding is here! When the great wedding is here, wearing a crown and welcoming the emperor in person is to be close to him. To be close to the emperor is to be close to the emperor. Therefore, a gentleman should promote respect as a way to be close to the emperor; abandoning respect is to abandon one's relatives. Without love, there is no closeness; without respect, there is no justice. Love and respect are the foundation of politics!" The Duke said, "I would like to have something to say. But wearing a crown and welcoming the emperor in person, isn't that too important?" Confucius looked sad and replied, "To unite the two families, to succeed the ancestors, to be the masters of the heaven, earth, ancestral temples, and the land, why do you say that it is too important?" The Duke said, "I am stubborn! If I am not stubborn, how can I hear such words? I want to ask, but I can't say it. Please come in a little bit!" Confucius said: "If heaven and earth are not united, all things cannot grow. The great marriage is the heir of ten thousand generations. Why do you think you are already so important?" Confucius then said: "If you govern the ancestral temple at home, you will be able to match the gods of heaven and earth; if you govern the country with the etiquette of speaking frankly, you will be able to establish respect between superiors and subordinates. Shame for things will be able to revive it, and shame for the country will be able to revive it. Governing starts with etiquette. Etiquette is the root of governance!" Confucius then said: "The governance of the wise kings of the Three Dynasties must respect their wives and children. There is a way. The wife is the master of the parents. How dare you not respect her? The son is the successor of the parents. How dare you not respect her? A gentleman respects everything, and respecting oneself is the most important. The body is the branch of the parents. How dare you not respect it? Failure to respect oneself hurts one's parents; hurting one's parents hurts the root; hurting the root, the branches will die. These three are the images of the people. One's body is as good as one's body, one's son is as good as one's son, and one's concubine is as good as one's concubine. If a king practices these three, then the world will be united. This is the way of the great king. In this way, the country will be in harmony. ”

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The etiquette of mourning is that if one is thin and emaciated, one's appearance will not be affected, and one's sight and hearing will not be impaired. One should not ascend or descend by the steps on the east side, and one should not enter or leave through the tunnels. The etiquette of mourning is that if there is a wound on the head, one should wash it, if there is an ulcer on the body, one should bathe it, if one is sick, one should drink wine and eat meat, and when the illness stops, one should return to the original state. If one cannot bear the mourning, it is like being unkind and unfilial. At fifty, you will not be ruined; at sixty, you will not be ruined; at seventy, you will only wear mourning clothes, drink wine, eat meat, and stay at home. Life and the future, death and the past. Those who know life mourn, and those who know death are sad. Those who know life but not death mourn but are not sad; those who know death but not life are sad but not mourn. When mourning, you cannot give a gift, and do not ask how much it costs. When asking about illness, you cannot leave it, and do not ask what it wants. When meeting someone, you cannot stay at the house, and do not ask where it lives. Those who give gifts do not say "come and take". Those who give to others do not ask what they want. When visiting a grave, do not climb the ridge, and when helping with the burial, you must hold the rope. Do not smile at a funeral. When bowing to someone, you must go against your position. Do not sing when looking at the coffin. Do not fly when entering. Do not sigh when eating. When a neighbor dies, do not pound the mortar together. When there is a funeral in the village, do not sing in the alley. Do not sing when visiting a grave. Do not sing on the day of mourning. Do not take the shortcut when sending off a funeral, and do not avoid muddy roads when sending off a funeral. When facing a funeral, one must have a sad look, hold a rope and do not smile, and when facing music, one must not sigh; when wearing armor, one must have an expression of being untouchable.

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When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.

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Zeng Zi asked: "Do you mourn for three years?" Confucius said: "In the three-year mourning, you should be dressed, not stand in a group, and do not travel. Gentlemen use etiquette to embellish their feelings. If you mourn for three years, isn't it empty?" Zeng Zi asked: "The officials and scholars can get rid of their private mourning, but they have the monarch's mourning clothes. How can they get rid of it?" Confucius said: "If you have the monarch's mourning clothes on your body, you dare not wear them privately. How can you get rid of them? So it is not removed after the time has passed. In the case of the king's mourning, mourning is removed before offering sacrifices, which is a ritual. Zengzi asked, "Is it okay not to remove mourning for parents?" Confucius said, "The ancient kings established rituals, and did not perform them after the time has passed, which is a ritual; it is not that they cannot do it, but they are worried that it is too much. Therefore, a gentleman does not offer sacrifices after the time has passed, which is a ritual. Zengzi asked, "When the king dies, after the funeral, if the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Return home and live at home. If there are important things, go to the king's place and see him off morning and evening." He said, "After the king has been buried, if the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Go home and cry and come back to see the king off." He said, "If the king has not buried his parents, and the minister has parents in mourning, what should I do?" Confucius said, "Go home and cry and come back to see the king off. If there are important things, go back and see him off morning and evening. For officials, the old man in the house will perform the ritual; for scholars, the descendants will perform the ritual. The wife of a great official, if there is a serious matter, should also go to the king's place, morning and night. "