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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Sun Xinggong said: "Pan's writing is like a piece of brocade, and everything is good; Lu's writing is like separating gold from sand, and treasures are often found."
Xu Yun's wife was the daughter of Ruan Weiwei. She was as virtuous as her sister but extremely ugly. After the formalities were exchanged, Yun refused to continue his talk, and his family members were deeply worried. When a guest arrived in Huiyun, the wife asked her maid to check him out, and she replied, "It's Huan Lang." Huan Lang is Huan Fan. The woman said, "Don't worry, Huan will persuade you to come in." Huan indeed said to Xu, "Since the Ruan family married their ugly daughter to you, they must be interested in you. You should observe it." Xu then went back inside. As soon as he saw the woman, he wanted to leave. The woman realized that after he left, there was no way he would come back, so she grabbed his skirt and stopped him. "Xu Yin said, "A woman has four virtues. How many of them do you have? "The woman said, "The only thing a new bride lacks is your appearance. However, a scholar has a hundred virtues, how many do you have? "Xu Yun: "All are ready." "The woman said: "Virtue is the most important of all virtues. You like lust but not virtue. How can you say you have everything?" "Yun felt ashamed and began to respect him.
When Xiao Yu was in Jingzhou, the Duke held a large meeting and asked his officials, "How would I like to be like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei?" No one answered. The Chief Secretary Jiang Fei said, "I would like you to be like Emperor Huan and Emperor Wen, but not like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei."
The Master said: “The benevolent is the model of the world; the righteous is the rule of the world; the retribution is the benefit of the world.” The Master said: “Repaying kindness with kindness will encourage the people; repaying grievances with grievances will punish the people. The Book of Songs says: ‘No words are not resentful, no virtue is not repaid.’ The Book of Taijia says: ‘Without the king, the people cannot be at peace; without the king, the four directions cannot be opened.’” The Master said: “Repaying grievances with kindness is benevolence of leniency; repaying kindness with grievances is punishment of the people.” The Master said: “The one who has no desires and likes kindness, and the one who has no fears and hates unkindness, is the only one in the world. Therefore, the gentleman discusses the way for himself and sets laws for the people.” The Master said: “There are three kinds of benevolence, the same merits as benevolence but different feelings. The same merits as benevolence, his benevolence cannot be known; the same faults as benevolence, then his benevolence can be known. The benevolent are at peace with benevolence, the wise are beneficial to benevolence, and the fearful are strong in benevolence. The benevolent are right, the righteous are left. The benevolent are human, the righteous are righteousness. Those who are thick in benevolence are thin in righteousness, they are close but not respected; those who are thick in righteousness are thin in benevolence, they are respected but not close. The righteousness has its ultimate, and the righteousness has its examination. The ultimate righteousness is the way to rule, the righteousness is the way to hegemony, and the examination of the righteousness is to make sure there is no error. ”
Confucius cried for Zilu in the courtyard. There were people who came to pay their respects, and the Master bowed to them. After crying, he brought in the messenger and asked why. The messenger said: "It has been minced." Then he ordered to mince it.
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