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In all the etiquette of servants, they must give the servants the reins. If the servant is of a lower rank, then accept it; otherwise, then refuse. If the servant is of a lower rank, then stroke the servant's hand; otherwise, then hold him down. The carriage of guests does not enter the main gate. Women do not stand up to ride. Dogs and horses do not enter the hall. Therefore, gentlemen should wear yellow hair, lower than the rank of ministers, do not gallop when entering the country, and must bow when entering the village.
The so-called self-cultivation is to rectify one's heart. If one is angry, one cannot be rectified; if one is afraid, one cannot be rectified; if one is happy, one cannot be rectified; if one is worried, one cannot be rectified. If one's heart is not there, one will not see, hear, or taste. This is called self-cultivation is to rectify one's heart.
Establishing power and measurement, examining articles, changing the calendar, changing the color of clothes, distinguishing emblems, different tools, and different clothes, these are what he obtains and changes with the people. There are some things that cannot be changed: loving one's relatives, respecting the elders, and distinguishing between men and women. These are things that cannot be changed with the people.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Someone ridiculed Zhou Pushe: "When he joked with his relatives and friends, he was vulgar and undisciplined." Zhou said: "I am like the Yangtze River, how can I not have a song for a thousand miles?"
The so-called sincerity of intention is not to deceive oneself. If you hate bad smells and love beautiful women, this is called being modest. Therefore, a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. A villain does evil things when he is idle, and he does everything. When he sees a gentleman, he becomes disgusted, and hides his evil and shows his good. If people look at themselves as if they can see their lungs and livers, what good will it do? This is called sincerity in the heart, which is reflected in the outside, so a gentleman must be careful when he is alone. Zengzi said: "Ten eyes are watching, ten hands are pointing, how strict it is!" Wealth enriches the house, virtue enriches the body, and the heart is broad and the body is fat, so a gentleman must be sincere in his intentions.
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