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Wang Anfeng’s wife, Changqing Anfeng. Anfeng said, "It is disrespectful for a woman to be sweet to her husband according to etiquette. Don't do it again." The woman said, "I love you, so I am sweet to you. If I don't be sweet to you, who will?" So the woman listened to him.
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Xuanwu gathered various famous places to lecture on the Book of Changes, explaining one hexagram every day. Jianwen wanted to listen, but turned back after hearing this. He said: "The meaning should be difficult or easy, so is it limited to one hexagram?"
Zilu asked about strength, and the Master said: "Is it the strength of the South? Is it the strength of the North? Is it the strength of suppression? To teach with kindness and gentleness, and not to retaliate against the unrighteous, is the strength of the South, and the gentleman lives in it. Wearing armor and not being tired of dying, is the strength of the North, and the strong live in it. Therefore, the gentleman is harmonious but not swayed, how strong and correct! To stand in the middle but not lean, how strong and correct! If the country has the way, do not change and block it, how strong and correct! If the country has no way, do not change until death, how strong and correct! "
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
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