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Zengzi said: "At the grave of a friend, there is old grass, but no one should cry."
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
When Zhong Yu brothers were young, their father took a nap during the day, so they secretly drank medicinal wine together. His father woke up at the time and pretended to sleep to watch. Yu bowed before drinking, and drank together without bowing. Then he asked Yu why he bowed, Yu said: "Wine is the rite, I dare not not bow." He asked Hui why he did not bow, Hui said: "Stealing is not rite, so I do not bow."
Therefore, when a man is born, he uses a mulberry bow and a straw arrow to shoot at the four directions of heaven and earth. The four directions of heaven and earth are what a man should do. Therefore, he must first have aspirations for what he should do, and then dare to use grain. This is what it means to eat.
Men and women do not sit together, use the same shackles and towels, or combs, and are not taught in person. The sisters-in-law and uncles do not ask about each other, and the mothers do not wash their clothes. External words do not enter the bundle, and internal words do not leave the bundle.
Zhongni said: "The gentleman is moderate, the villain is the opposite of the moderate. The gentleman's moderation is the gentleman who is moderate at times; the villain's moderation is the villain who is unscrupulous."
When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.
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