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Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
In all sacrifices, there are those that should be abolished and no one dares to perform them, and there are those that should be performed and no one dares to abolish them. Offering sacrifices that are not what they should be is called lewd sacrifices. Lewd sacrifices bring no blessings. The emperor offers sacrificed cattle, the princes offer fat cattle, the officials offer oxen, and the scholars offer sheep and pigs. If the sons of the branches do not offer sacrifices, the sons of the clan must be informed of the sacrifices.
When Wang Lantian was appointed as an official in Yangzhou, the chief clerk asked for a taboo, and was instructed: "Our late ancestor was famous throughout the country and was known far and wide. If the taboo is not known to the public, there is nothing to be tabooed about."
After Deng Jingling was dismissed from office, he went to the mountain tomb and met the Grand Marshal Huan Gong. The Duke asked him, "Why have you become thinner?" Deng said, "I feel ashamed of Shuda, and I cannot help but feel resentful for the broken steamer!"
Mr. Xi lived during the Yongjia Rebellion, and his hometown was very poor and hungry. The villagers praised his virtue and shared the feast with him. The Duke often brought his brother's son Mai and his aunt's two younger sons Zhou Yi to eat there. The villagers said, "We are all hungry and in need. Since you are a wise man, we want to help you. But we are afraid that we cannot save enough for both of us." So the Duke went to eat alone, and he always put rice on his cheeks and spit it out to his two children. Later they both survived and crossed the river together. After Duke Xi died, Yi was appointed as the county magistrate of Shan. After resigning from his post, he returned home and laid straw at the head of Duke Xi's bed, mourning for the whole three years.
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