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The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Xie Gong served as Sima of Xuanwu, and had dozens of disciples under the command of Zhao Yuezi, Zhonglang of Tian Cao. Yuezi reported this to Emperor Xuanwu, who said, "Use only half of them." Zhao immediately employed all of them, saying, "When Anshi was in Dongshan, the gentry urged him to do things, so he might not be involved in personnel matters. Moreover, now that he is being selected from the local area, won't he go against their will?"
The so-called peace in the world is to govern the country, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be filial, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be younger brothers, when the ruler cares for the orphans, the people will not betray him, so the gentleman has the way of the square. What you hate in the superior, do not use it to command the inferior, what you hate in the inferior, do not use it to serve the superior; what you hate in the front, do not use it before and after; what you hate in the back, do not use it to follow the front; what you hate in the right, do not use it to associate with the left; what you hate in the left, do not use it to associate with the right; this is called the way of the square. The Book of Songs says: "The happy gentleman is the parent of the people." What the people like, he likes, and what the people hate, he hates. This is called the parent of the people. The Book of Songs says: "The southern mountain is rocky. The great teacher Yin, the people look up to you." Those who have a country must be cautious, otherwise they will be humiliated by the world. The Book of Songs says: "Before the Yin lost its teacher, it could match the God. Yi Jian was in Yin, and the strict mandate was not changed. "If you win the support of the people, you will win the country; if you lose the support of the people, you will lose the country.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
At first, Fatai came to the north and was unknown, so the king led his army to support him. Whenever he went out with him, he would go to famous places in Xu and travel with him. If you don't eliminate it, you can't stop the car. Therefore, his name became important.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
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