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When Tao Gong was young, he worked as a fish weir official and once offered fish crucibles to his mother as a reward. The mother sealed the fish and gave it to the envoy, and wrote back to rebuke Kan, saying: "You are an official, and you use official goods to pay the bills. Not only is it of no benefit, but it also adds to my worries."
A child cried when his mother died. Confucius said, "It is sad, but it is difficult to continue. The ritual is to be passed on and to be continued. Therefore, there are rules for crying and dancing."
When asked about the age of the emperor, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “I heard that he started to wear clothes of a certain length.” When asked about the age of the king, he should answer, “He can follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is older; he should answer, “He cannot follow the affairs of the ancestral temple and the altar of grain when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a senior official, he should answer, “He can drive when he is older; he cannot drive when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a scholar, he should answer, “He can handle the formalities of the reception when he is older; he cannot handle the formalities of the reception when he is younger.” When asked about the son of a commoner, he should answer, “He can carry firewood when he is older; he cannot carry firewood when he is younger.” When asked about the wealth of the king, he should answer, “He can cook food with his own strength, and he does not need to use sacrificial utensils and clothes.” When asked about the wealth of a scholar, he should answer, “He can carry firewood with his own strength.” When asked about the wealth of common people, they should answer by counting their livestock.
When parents die, before offering sacrifices, brothers die; after the funeral, offering sacrifices are made. If they are in the same palace, even if they are servants or concubines, offering sacrifices are made after the funeral. During sacrifices, the host's ranks are divided, and the attendants are also divided. Even the Yu Fu are the same. From the princes to the scholars, during the minor sacrifices, the host spits when offering wine; the guests and brothers all spit at it. For the major sacrifices, the host spits, and the guests and brothers all drink it. Those who attend the sacrifices and funerals tell the guests to offer sacrifices but not to eat.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
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