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Remarrying into a wealthy family: spoiling your wife

The Master said, "A gentleman does not use words to exhaust people. Therefore, when the world is governed by the Way, then actions have branches and leaves; when the world is not governed by the Way, then words have branches and leaves. Therefore, when a gentleman is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a gift, he does not ask what he spends; when a sick person is at the side of a mourner and cannot give him a meal, he does not ask what he wants; when a guest is at a guest's house and cannot provide him with a guest, he does not ask where he stays. Therefore, the reception of a gentleman is like water, while that of a villain is like sweet wine; a gentleman is indifferent to success, while a villain is willing to be ruined. Xiaoya says: "A thief's words are sweet, and chaos is caused by glutinous rice." Confucius said: "A gentleman does not praise others with his words, so the people will be loyal. Therefore, a gentleman asks people if they are cold, then he clothes them; asks people if they are hungry, then he feeds them; praises people's beauty, then he gives them a title. Guofeng says: "The heart is worried, so I will go home and be happy." Confucius said: "If the mouth is good but the deeds are not fulfilled, resentment will come to the body. Therefore, a gentleman would rather have resentment than have a promise. Guofeng says: "Talking and laughing slowly, keeping promises, not thinking about the return; if you don't think about the return, what's the point!" Confucius said: "A gentleman does not get close to people with his appearance; if he is distant in affection but close in appearance, is he a thief who robs houses?" Confucius said: "The feelings should be trustworthy, and the words should be clever. ”

King of all ages

Why do you wear a fake face?

Do not talk about music in mourning, do not talk about bad things during sacrifices, and do not talk about women in public courts.

Husband, please divorce me!

No matter the time

When Yu Zhigong was the governor of Jingzhou, he presented a feather fan to Emperor Wu. Emperor Wu suspected that it was an old item. Liu Shao, the imperial attendant, said: "When the cypress beams and clouds are constructed, the craftsmen are first placed under them; when the pipes and strings are playing, the bells and Kui are the first to hear the sounds. Zhigong presented the fan because it was good, not new." Empress Yu heard this and said: "This person should be by the emperor's side."

Love at first sight: Leng Shao sweetly dotes on his little wife

Ziyou asked, “Is it a courtesy to mourn a loving mother as if she were your own mother?” Confucius said, “It is not a courtesy. In ancient times, men had tutors outside and loving mothers inside, and they were appointed by the king to teach their children. Why should they wear mourning clothes? In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu lost his mother when he was young. He had a loving mother who was good. When her mother died, the duke could not bear to mourn her. He wanted to mourn her. The officials reported it to the king, who said, “According to the ancient etiquette, loving mothers should not be mourned. Now you are mourning for her. This is against the ancient etiquette and disrupts the laws of the country. If you carry it out, the officials will write it down and leave it to future generations. Isn’t it wrong!” The duke said, “In ancient times, the emperor wore a silk hat when he was at home. 'The Duke could not bear it, so he wore a white hat to mourn his beloved mother. The practice of mourning a beloved mother began with Duke Zhao of Lu. Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet the emperor, they cannot complete the ceremony when entering the door. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Four." Please ask. He said, "The great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished. If all the princes are present and the sun is eclipsed, they will follow the emperor to put out the sun, and each will give his own weapons in his own color. If the great temple is on fire, they will follow the emperor to put out the fire, and will not give his own weapons in his own color." Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet, they bow and yield to each other when entering the door, and cannot complete the ceremony. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Six." Please ask. He said, "When the emperor dies, the great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished." Zengzi asked, "When the emperor has offered sacrifices to the five sacrifices in the suburbs and the altars, the food and utensils have been laid out, and when the emperor dies, what should be done with the queen's funeral?" Confucius said, "Abolished. Zengzi asked, "When the sacrifice is to be made and the sun is eclipsed, and the Taimiao is on fire, what should be done with the sacrifice?" Confucius said, "Just follow the sacrifice. If the animal arrives but has not been killed, it is cancelled. When the emperor dies but has not been buried, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the funeral, the sacrifice is performed, the corpse is brought in, the three meals are not served, and the wine is not vinegared. From the opening to the return of the mourning, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the burial, the sacrifice is performed, the prayers are finished and the offerings are made." Zengzi asked, "When the princes offer sacrifices to the gods and grain, the sacrificial vessels and dishes are already laid out. What should they do when they hear of the death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the king, or the mourning of the lady?" Confucius said, "Abolish it. From the death to the funeral, from the opening to the return of the mourning, they serve the emperor." Zengzi asked, "When the ministers offer sacrifices, the tripods and sacrificial vessels are laid out, and the dishes are set out, but the rituals cannot be completed. How many of them are cancelled?" Confucius said, "Nine. "Please ask. He said: "The death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the monarch, the mourning of the lady, the fire of the monarch's grand temple, the solar eclipse, the three-year mourning, the mourning of Qisui and the great merit are all abolished. The mourning of the outside world from Qisui onwards is carried out. The sacrifice of Qisui is that the corpse is brought in, three meals are not served, and the wine is not made with vinegar. The great merit is just a vinegar. The small merit and mourning are just things in the room. The reason why scholars are different is that they do not offer sacrifices in mourning, and they offer sacrifices to the dead without wearing mourning clothes. "