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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Aigong said, "May I ask about Confucian conduct." Confucius replied, "I can't finish counting them all. If I count them all, I will stay. I can't finish them even if I change my servant."
Only the most holy man in the world can be wise and knowledgeable, enough to be in charge; generous and gentle, enough to be tolerant; strong and resolute, enough to be firm; dignified and upright, enough to be respectful; meticulous and discerning, enough to distinguish. He is vast and profound, and he always releases it. He is as vast as the sky, and as deep as the abyss. When he sees it, the people all respect it, when he speaks, the people all believe it, and when he acts, the people all praise it. Therefore, his reputation spreads throughout China and extends to the barbarians. Wherever boats and cars can reach, wherever human power can reach, wherever the sky covers, wherever the earth carries, wherever the sun and the moon shine, wherever frost and dew fall, all living beings respect their parents, so he is said to be in harmony with heaven.
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
When there is a funeral, if you hear of the funeral of a distant brother, you must go even if you are in mourning; if you are not a brother, you will not go even if you are a neighbor. All the brothers who do not live together will pay their respects. The emperor's coffin has four layers; the water rhinoceros leather coffin is covered with it, which is three inches thick, one 杷 coffin, two 杷 coffins, and all four are round. The coffin is tied with two 杷 three, and each 衛 is tied with one. The coffin of the uncle is six feet long at the end.
When Huan Xuanwu died, Huan Nanjun was five years old and the mourning period had just ended. Huan's chariot and cavalry went to see off his former civil and military officials. He pointed to Nanjun and said, "These are all your family's former officials." Xuan responded by weeping loudly, and those around him were moved. The charioteer always looked at his own seat and said, "When Lingbao has grown up, this seat should be returned to him." He loved Ju more than his own son.
When Yin Hao first governed Yangzhou, Liu Yin was on a journey. As the day was getting dark, he asked his attendants to fetch his bundle. People asked him why. He replied, "The governor is strict and I dare not travel at night."
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