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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
The cavalry general Wang Wuzi was the uncle of Wei Jie. He was handsome and elegant. Whenever he saw Jie, he would sigh and say, "I feel so ugly when I have such a wealth of talent around me!"
The person who peels melons for the emperor serves as his deputy and wears a gauze scarf. The ruler of a country should dress it up and wear a scarf with a silk scarf. The officials are burdened by it, the scholars are sick of it, and the common people are bitten by it.
The emperor collected taxes, and went through the ranks of soldiers, and personally swore an oath to the gods to train the army. He moved left and right, sat and stood up to observe their changes; and showed them the birds and salted the benefits to observe whether they would not violate orders. He sought to subdue their wills, and did not covet their gains, so that he would win in battle and receive blessings in sacrifice.
Hua Xin treated his sons and daughters very strictly. Even in a quiet room, he was as strict as if they were in the court. The brothers Chen Yuanfang indulged in tenderness and love, and the two families did not deviate from the track of Yongxi.
If there is a minister who is completely incompetent and has no other skills, and whose heart is at ease, how can he tolerate it? If someone has skills, he will treat them as if they were his own; if someone is a wise man, he will like them in his heart, as if they were coming out of his mouth. If he can really tolerate them, he can protect his descendants and the people, and it is still beneficial! If someone has skills, he will be jealous and hate them; if someone is a wise man, he will oppose them and make them unacceptable: If he can really not tolerate them, he will not be able to protect his descendants and the people, and it is also dangerous! "Only benevolent people can exile them and drive them to the four barbarians, and not let them live with China. This means that only benevolent people can love people and hate people. Seeing the virtuous but not being able to promote them, promoting them but not being able to lead them, is fate; seeing the evil but not being able to retreat, retreating but not being able to stay away, is a mistake. To like what people hate and to hate what people like is to go against people's nature, and the harm will surely come to oneself. Therefore, a gentleman has a great way, and he must be loyal and faithful to gain it, and arrogant and complacent to lose it.
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
Xie Huer was a writer and once wrote the biography of Wang Kan. I don’t know what kind of person I am, so I ask Mr. Xie for advice. Xie Gong replied, "The descendants of the family were also treated well. Kan is the son of Lie, the aunt's brother of Ruan Qianli, and Pan Anren is a middle-class man. As Anren's poem says, 'Your son is close to your aunt, and my father is only my uncle.' He is Xu Yun's son-in-law."
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