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The Self-help Manual for Bad Girls

Rebirth of Glory

The etiquette of mourning is that if one is thin and emaciated, one's appearance will not be affected, and one's sight and hearing will not be impaired. One should not ascend or descend by the steps on the east side, and one should not enter or leave through the tunnels. The etiquette of mourning is that if there is a wound on the head, one should wash it, if there is an ulcer on the body, one should bathe it, if one is sick, one should drink wine and eat meat, and when the illness stops, one should return to the original state. If one cannot bear the mourning, it is like being unkind and unfilial. At fifty, you will not be ruined; at sixty, you will not be ruined; at seventy, you will only wear mourning clothes, drink wine, eat meat, and stay at home. Life and the future, death and the past. Those who know life mourn, and those who know death are sad. Those who know life but not death mourn but are not sad; those who know death but not life are sad but not mourn. When mourning, you cannot give a gift, and do not ask how much it costs. When asking about illness, you cannot leave it, and do not ask what it wants. When meeting someone, you cannot stay at the house, and do not ask where it lives. Those who give gifts do not say "come and take". Those who give to others do not ask what they want. When visiting a grave, do not climb the ridge, and when helping with the burial, you must hold the rope. Do not smile at a funeral. When bowing to someone, you must go against your position. Do not sing when looking at the coffin. Do not fly when entering. Do not sigh when eating. When a neighbor dies, do not pound the mortar together. When there is a funeral in the village, do not sing in the alley. Do not sing when visiting a grave. Do not sing on the day of mourning. Do not take the shortcut when sending off a funeral, and do not avoid muddy roads when sending off a funeral. When facing a funeral, one must have a sad look, hold a rope and do not smile, and when facing music, one must not sigh; when wearing armor, one must have an expression of being untouchable.

Love is not what I want

When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.

I can add attributes

Ruan Xuanzi discussed the existence of ghosts and gods. Some believed that ghosts existed when people died, but Xuanzi alone believed that ghosts did not exist. He said, "Nowadays, those who see ghosts say that they cut off the clothes they wore when they were alive. If ghosts exist when people die, do clothes also have ghosts?"

The Sweet Wife of a Wealthy Family

My apprentice is the richest man

When the wife is about to give birth to a child, and the month is coming, she will live in the side room. The husband will send someone to ask her twice a day. She will get up and ask herself. The wife dare not see her. She will ask her mother to dress and answer. When the child is born, the husband will send someone to ask her twice a day. The husband will not enter the side room when he is ready. When the child is born, men will set up bows on the left side of the door, and women will set up veils on the right side of the door. After three days, they will start to carry the child. Men will shoot women. When the king's heir is born, he will inform the king and receive a large sacrifice. The butler will be in charge of the preparations. After three days, the fortune teller will carry the child. The lucky person will stay outside the bedroom door in the morning clothes. The poet will carry the child and shoot people with mulberry bows and six arrows. Shoot the four directions of heaven and earth. The butler will carry the child. The butler will carry the child and give him a bundle of silk. The fortune teller's wife and the official's concubine will feed the child. Whenever a child is received, a day is chosen. For a child born in the twelfth month, a large sacrifice is given. For common people, a pig is given. For scholars, a pig is given. For officials, a small sacrifice is given. For the prince's son, a large sacrifice is given. For those who are not born in the twelfth month, the sacrifice is reduced by one level. The child is placed in a room in the palace. From the various mothers and suitable ones, the one who is generous, kind, gentle, respectful, cautious and taciturn is selected to be the child's teacher. The next best is the loving mother. The next best is the nanny. They all live in the child's room. Others do not go there unless there is something to do. At the end of March, a day is chosen to cut the hair into a bun. The boy's hair is tied in a corner and the girl's hair is tied in a bun. Otherwise, the boy's hair is tied on the left and the girl's hair is tied on the right. On this day, the wife presents the child to the father. The nobles dress the children. From the officials and below, everyone washes their hair. Men and women get up early, bathe, dress, and prepare food for the first day of the month. The husband enters the room and ascends the steps to the east. He stands in the west of the east. The wife holds the child out of the room and stands in front of the lintel facing east. The mother-in-law said, "Mother, I dare not use the time to see the child." The husband replied, "The emperor has a general." The father held the son's right hand, coughed and named him. The wife replied, "I have written it down." Then he turned his left hand back and gave it to the teacher. The son's teacher told the names of all the wives and mothers, and the wife went to bed. The husband told the name of the prime minister, and the prime minister told the names of all the men. They wrote: "Born on such and such a day in such and such a year." Then they hid it. The prime minister told the village historian. The village historian wrote two books, one of which was hidden in the village government and the other was presented to the state historian. The state historian presented it to the state earl, and the state earl ordered it to be hidden in the state government. The husband went to eat as if he was raising a child. When the prince was born, the king bathed and dressed in court clothes, and the wife did the same. They all stood on the west side of the steps. The wife of the prince held the child and went up from the west steps. The king named him and then went down. When the son and the concubine met in the outer bedroom, they stroked their heads and coughed and named them. The etiquette was the beginning of the general, and there was no remark. In naming a son, one should not use the date or month, state or hidden illness as the name; the son of an official or scholar should not have the same name as the crown prince. When a concubine is about to give birth to a son, and the month and day are up, the husband should have someone ask about it every day. At the end of the third month, the son should wash his head and get ready in the morning, and be seen in the inner bedroom, with the same etiquette as when he first enters the room. After the king has finished eating, he should be allowed to eat before entering the palace. When a son of a duke or a concubine is born, he should go to a concubine's room. At the end of the third month, his mother should bathe and wear court clothes and go to the king. The banished son should go to the king with his son, and the king should give him a name according to the king's gifts. If there are multiple sons, the officials should name them. If a commoner does not have a concubine, and the month and day are up, the husband should go out to live in the group room, and the way he asks about his son should be the same as the way a son goes to his father. When the father is alive, the grandson should go to the grandfather, and the grandfather should also name him, with the same etiquette as a son goes to his father, without any excuse. A son who feeds his son should go out after three years, and if he is seen in the palace of the duke, he should be punished. The son of an official should feed his mother, and the wife of a scholar should raise her son herself. The sons of officials above the rank of a rank and above, and of officials, are to be seen every ten days. When a son of a family is seen before he has eaten, he must hold his right hand. When a son of a concubine is seen after he has eaten, he must touch his head. When a son can eat, he is taught to eat with his right hand. When a son can speak, he is only allowed to hold his right hand, while a son is allowed to hold his right hand. A son is allowed to wear a leather belt, while a daughter is allowed to wear a silk belt. At the age of six, he is taught the numbers and names of the directions. At the age of seven, men and women are not allowed to sit at the same table, nor to eat together. At the age of eight, when they enter and leave the house or eat at a table, they must follow the elders, and they are taught to yield. At the age of nine, they are taught for several days. At the age of ten, they are to go out to a tutor, live and sleep outside, learn to write and calculate, wear a silk jacket or trousers, and learn the etiquette of the young day and night. Please study and understand. At the age of thirteen, they learn music, recite the Book of Songs, and dance the Spoon. When they become children, they dance the Elephant, and learn archery and charioteering. At the age of twenty, they are allowed to wear fur and silk, dance the Great Summer, and practice filial piety and brotherhood. They are knowledgeable but not taught, and stay at home. At the age of thirty, they are allowed to have a wife, and they are allowed to manage male affairs. They are knowledgeable but have no method, and their grandchildren look at their ambitions. At forty, one begins to serve in the government. One must make plans and consider the situation. If one agrees with the way, one must obey. If one disagrees, one must leave. At fifty, one must be appointed as a senior official and serve in the government. At seventy, one must start work. All men worship with the left hand. For a girl who has not been out for ten years, her mother will teach her to be gentle and obedient. She must handle hemp and linen, process silk cocoons, weave ropes, learn women's affairs, share clothes, watch sacrifices, offer wine, food, and pickles, and help with offerings. At fifteen, she comes of age. At twenty, she gets married. If she has a wife, she gets married at twenty-three. If she marries, she becomes a wife. If she runs away, she becomes a concubine. All women worship with the right hand.