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When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
Therefore, the teaching of ritual is subtle, and it can stop evil before it takes shape, making people move towards good and stay away from crimes without knowing it. That is why the ancient kings respected it. The Book of Changes says: "A gentleman should be cautious at the beginning, and the error of a millimeter will lead to a thousand miles." This is what it means.
Zhong Sui died in Chui; Renwu was still buried, and Wanru went to the yue. Zhongni said, "It is not proper, you will not be buried." When Ji Kangzi's mother died, Gong Shuruo was still young, and the coffin was buried. Pan asked to seal it with a machine and follow it. The Duke shouldered the burden and said,
Su Jun went to the east to attack Chen Chong, and asked Lu Mai, the Minister of Personnel, to go with him. When he was about to reach Wu, he secretly ordered his attendants to enter the Chang Gate and set fire to it as a demonstration of power. Lu knew what he meant and said to Jun, "Wu will not be peaceful for long and there will be chaos. If you want to be the cause of the chaos, please start with my family." Jun then stopped.
Confucian scholars dress moderately, move cautiously, show slowness when they are big and false when they are small, show authority when they are big and shame when they are small, and they are difficult to advance and easy to retreat, and they are like incompetent. Their appearance is like this.
When marrying a woman to the emperor, it is said to prepare the people; to the king, it is said to prepare wine and liquor; to the minister, it is said to prepare sweeping.
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
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