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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Xie Hun asked Yang Fu, "Why do you hold the coral chain in a vessel?" Yang Fu said, "It should be used as a vessel to receive the gods."
Someone gave Wei Wu a cup of cheese. Wei Wu ate a little and wrote the word "鍚" on his veil to show it to everyone. No one could understand it. When he came to Yang Xiu, Xiu ate it and said, "You told me to eat only one bite, why should I doubt it?"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The father and son of Yin Taichang of Jiangzuo were both able to reason, but they also had differences in their eloquence and taciturnity. When Yangzhou talked a lot, Taichang would say, "You should think more about my argument."
Zhang Zhan liked to plant pine and cypress trees in front of his study. Whenever Yuan Shansong went out for a trip, he would always ask his attendants to compose elegies. People at that time said, "The body was laid out under Zhang's house, and the funeral was held on Yuan's road."
When Prime Minister Wang first arrived in Jiangzuo, he wanted to form an alliance with the people of Wu and asked for marriage with General Lu. He replied: "There are no pines or cypresses in the mound, and the incense and weeds are not in the same container. Although I am not talented, it is not the right thing for me to start an incestuous relationship."
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