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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Duke Huan asked Kong Xiyang, "How is Anshi compared to Zhongwen?" Kong Xiyang did not answer, but asked the Duke, "How?" He replied, "Anshi is superior because no one can surpass him, so he is superior."
Liu Ling was drunk and very thirsty, so he asked his wife for wine. The woman threw away the wine and destroyed the utensils, and wept and advised, "You drink too much. It is not the way to keep healthy. You must stop drinking!" The actor said, "Very good. I cannot control myself. I can only pray to the gods and ghosts and swear to stop. Now you can prepare the wine and meat." The woman said, "I respectfully obey your command." She offered wine and meat to the gods and asked the actor to swear. Ling knelt down and made a wish, "Liu Ling was born with wine as his name. I can drink one hu of wine at a time, and five dou of wine will sober me up. Don't listen to women's words." He then served wine and meat, and he was already drunk.
When Zhao's mother married her daughter off, she warned her daughter before she left, "Be careful not to do good things!" The daughter said, "If I can't do good things, can I do evil things?" The mother said, "If I can't do good things, how can I do evil things?"
The Master said: “The benevolent is the model of the world; the righteous is the rule of the world; the retribution is the benefit of the world.” The Master said: “Repaying kindness with kindness will encourage the people; repaying grievances with grievances will punish the people. The Book of Songs says: ‘No words are not resentful, no virtue is not repaid.’ The Book of Taijia says: ‘Without the king, the people cannot be at peace; without the king, the four directions cannot be opened.’” The Master said: “Repaying grievances with kindness is benevolence of leniency; repaying kindness with grievances is punishment of the people.” The Master said: “The one who has no desires and likes kindness, and the one who has no fears and hates unkindness, is the only one in the world. Therefore, the gentleman discusses the way for himself and sets laws for the people.” The Master said: “There are three kinds of benevolence, the same merits as benevolence but different feelings. The same merits as benevolence, his benevolence cannot be known; the same faults as benevolence, then his benevolence can be known. The benevolent are at peace with benevolence, the wise are beneficial to benevolence, and the fearful are strong in benevolence. The benevolent are right, the righteous are left. The benevolent are human, the righteous are righteousness. Those who are thick in benevolence are thin in righteousness, they are close but not respected; those who are thick in righteousness are thin in benevolence, they are respected but not close. The righteousness has its ultimate, and the righteousness has its examination. The ultimate righteousness is the way to rule, the righteousness is the way to hegemony, and the examination of the righteousness is to make sure there is no error. ”
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