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Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Le Ling's daughter married General Wang Ying of Chengdu. The king's brother, the King of Changsha, held power in Luo, and they began to plot against each other. The King of Changsha is close to villains and stays away from gentlemen. Everyone in the court is afraid of danger. After Le magistrate had agreed to the emperor's wishes and had relatives in marriage, a group of petty people started to slander him in Changsha. Changsha once asked Le Ling, who looked calm and answered slowly, "Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?" From then on, he felt relieved and had no more doubts.
When Confucius was in Wei, he encountered the funeral of an old abbot. He went in and wept. When he left, he asked Zigong to persuade the charioteer and give him gifts. Zigong said, "I have never persuaded the charioteer for the funeral of my disciple. Is it too much to persuade the charioteer in the old abbot?" The Master said, "My fellow villagers went in and wept, and wept when they met a sad thing. I hate that I have no reason to cry. You should do it." When Confucius was in Wei, there were people attending the funeral, and the Master watched them and said, "How well they conduct the funeral! It is worthy of being a model. You should know it." Zigong said, "What is so good about you, Master?" He said, "When he went, he seemed to be longing, and when he returned, he seemed to be suspicious." Zigong said, "Is it better to return quickly and be anxious?" The Master said, "You know it, but I can't do it." When Yan Yuan died, he presented auspicious meat. Confucius went out to receive it, and then he played the zither and ate it.
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
Prime Minister Wang hired a female entertainer and set up a bed and mat. Lord Cai was present there earlier and left without saying anything, and the king did not try to keep him either.
Then the bald people do not strip, the hunchbacks do not bare, and the lame people do not jump, not because they are not sad; if the body is sick, it is not suitable for the ritual. Therefore, it is said: the funeral ceremony is mainly about mourning. Women cry and mourn, beat their chests and feel sad; men cry and mourn, bow their heads and touch the ground, which is the extreme of sorrow.
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