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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
He Yan and Deng Yang asked Guan Lu to make a hexagram, saying: "I wonder if the position will reach Three Dukes?" After the hexagram was made, Lu quoted the ancient meaning and took it as a deep warning. Yang said, "This is what old people always say." Yan said, "How amazing! The ancients thought it was difficult. Today, people think it is difficult to be sincere in communication. Now you have achieved two difficult things at the same time. You can be called 'the bright virtue is fragrant'. Doesn't the poem say, 'Hide it in your heart, how can you forget it?'"
When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
Zeng Zi asked: "When the crowned son arrives, he bows and yields to others and enters. Hearing about the mourning of a great meritorious service, what should be done?" Confucius said: "In the internal mourning, it is abandoned; in the external mourning, the crown is not drunk, the food is cleaned and swept, and the throne is wept. If the crown has not arrived, then it will be abandoned. If the crown is about to be worn but the date has not come, and there is a mourning of Qisui, Dagong, or Xiaogong, then the crown should be worn according to the mourning clothes. "Does the crown not change after the mourning?" Confucius said: "The emperor gives the princes and ministers the crown and hat clothes to the Grand Temple. When they return to set up a sacrifice, they wear the clothes given. There is a crown ceremony, but no crown wine. When the father dies and the crown is worn, the crown is worn and the ground is swept before offering sacrifices to the gods; after offering sacrifices, the uncles and uncles are seen, and then the crown is offered. "
Zi Zhang died, Zengzi had his mother's death; he went to cry in the mourning at the age of 18. Someone said: "You can't mourn at the age of 18." Zengzi said: "Why should I mourn?" At the death of Youruo, Duke Dao went to mourn, and Ziyou went from the left. At the death of Qi Gu Wang Ji, Duke Zhuang of Lu made great contributions. Some said, "She was married by Lu, so she should wear the mourning clothes of a sister." Some said, "She is my grandmother, so she should wear the mourning clothes."
Liu Jian served as the deputy governor of Huan Xuanwu, and later as a military officer of the Eastern Cao. He was quite unpopular because of his uprightness. I have listened to the record and was speechless. Xuanwu asked: "Why doesn't Liu Dongcao agree?" He replied: "It cannot be used." Xuanwu did not look surprised.
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