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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
The Book of Rites says: "A gentleman embraces his grandson but not his son." This means that a grandson can serve as the king's father's corpse, but a son cannot serve as his father's corpse. When a great official sees a corpse of a king, he should bow down. If the king knows why he is preparing a corpse, he should bow down himself, and the corpse must be arranged in a proper manner. The carriage must be on a platform.
Longevity is called death, and premature death is called misfortune.
When Xiao Yu was in Jingzhou, the Duke held a large meeting and asked his officials, "How would I like to be like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei?" No one answered. The Chief Secretary Jiang Fei said, "I would like you to be like Emperor Huan and Emperor Wen, but not like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei."
Meng Xianzi said, "On the first day of the first month, you can do things to the God; on the seventh day of the seventh month, you can do things to the ancestors." The seventh month is the day of sacrifice, and Xianzi did it. The wife did not ask the emperor for a favor, starting from Duke Zhao of Lu. The wife of the king in the outer clan is the same as the inner clan.
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
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