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Someone asked whether Xie Anshi and Wang Tanzhi were superior to Duke Huan. Duke Huan stopped and was about to speak, then regretted and said, "You like to tell others what they say, so I cannot tell you again."
There was a little boy in Zhongchao whose father was sick, so he begged for medicine. The host asked about his illness, and he said, "I have malaria." The host said, "You are a noble and virtuous gentleman, why do you have malaria?" He replied, "I came to be a gentleman, so I have malaria."
Yu Zhengxi launched a large-scale expedition against the Hu people. After the expedition was completed, he stopped at Xiangyang. Yin Yuzhang wrote a letter and gave him a folded-corner ruyi as a token of his appreciation. Yu replied in the letter: "I have obtained what I have obtained, even if it is a waste, I still want to make good use of it."
Yu Xiaofu was the Minister of the Imperial Secretariat of Emperor Wu of Han. The emperor asked him calmly, "I have never heard of you making any offerings while you were my retainer." Yu's home was in Fuchun, near the sea. He told the emperor that he was looking forward to his spirit. He replied, "The weather is still warm. Fish and shrimps (Yu Qiang) cannot be brought in yet. I will make an offering to you soon." The emperor clapped his hands and laughed.
The son of Yang from Liang State, nine years old, is very intelligent. Kong Junping went to see his father, but his father was not at home, so he called his son out and set out fruit for him. Among the fruits there was bayberry, and Confucius pointed to it and said to the child, "This is the fruit from your home." The child replied immediately, "I have never heard that peacocks are your home poultry."
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Xie Huer said to Yu Daoji: "Don't talk to me, just build a strong city wall." Yu said: "If Wendu comes, I will fight him with a small army; if Kangbo comes, I will cross the river and burn the boats."
Duke Huan was sitting on a military officer's chair, which was filled with scallions, and the chair was not put down from time to time. The people eating with him did not help, but the chair was still held there, and everyone present laughed. Duke Huan said, "We don't even help each other when we are in the same boat, let alone when we are in danger?" He ordered him to be dismissed from office.
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