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In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Ruan Guanglu went to the mountain tomb and arrived at the capital. He did not go to Yin, Liu and Xu, but returned after doing his business. Everyone chased after him, but Ruan knew that the current would catch up with him, so he ran away quickly, and when he reached Fangshan, he could not catch up with them. Liu Yin was the governor of Kuaiji at that time, so he sighed and said, "I will stay at Anshi Island when I enter. I dare not go near Sikuang again, as he can grab a stick and beat me. It is not easy."
Drink: heavy wine, rice wine with clear dregs, millet wine with clear dregs, sorghum wine with clear dregs, or wine with syrup, millet wine, syrup, water, syrup, and wine.
A gentleman knows the difficulty and ease of learning, and knows its beauty and ugliness, and then he can make extensive metaphors; if he can make extensive metaphors, he can be a teacher; if he can be a teacher, he can be a leader; if he can be a leader, he can be a king. Therefore, a teacher is for learning to be a king. Therefore, choosing a teacher must be careful. "Records" said: "Three kings and four generations only have their teachers." Is this what it means!
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