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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.
If one is superior to one's elders, one should not ask their age. When meeting a banquet, one should not take orders. When meeting on the road, one should greet the other, but not ask where to go. When attending funerals, one should not express condolences. When serving a gentleman, one should not hold a zither or draw a line on the ground, and one should not move his hands. When sleeping, one should sit and take orders. When serving an archer, one should draw arrows, and when serving a thrower, one should hold arrows. When winning, one should wash and ask for permission, and the same applies to guests. One should not fight or raise a horse. When holding the carriage of the king, one should sit. A servant should wear a sword in his right hand, carry a good rein, extend it to his face, drag the various hats, and let the reins go up, holding the reins before walking. Asking for an audience does not mean asking to leave. In court, one should say "leave", in banquets, one should say "return", and in military service, one should say "stop". When serving a gentleman, if the gentleman yawns, stretches, carries a scepter, cleans the head of the sword, and puts on his shoes, one should ask how early the day is, and even if one asks to leave, one can do so. Those who serve the king should consider before entering, and if not, then consider again; the same applies to those who ask for leave from others and those who work for others. Yes, so the superiors have no resentment, and the subordinates are far from sin. Do not spy on secrets, do not be intimate, do not talk about old times, and do not play with women. As a minister, there is remonstrance without slander, there is loss without anger; praise without flattery, remonstrance without arrogance; if lazy, promote and assist, if abolished, sweep and replace; this is called the service of the state.
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