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In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
Wang Ziyou left the capital and was still at the foot of the islet. I had heard before that Huan Ziye was good at playing the flute, but we didn't know each other. The king met Huan passing by on the shore while he was in the boat. A passenger who recognized him said, "This is Huan Ziye." The king then sent someone to tell him, "I heard that you are good at playing the flute. Please try to play it for me." Huan was already noble and prominent at that time. He had always heard of the king's name, so he got off the car, sat on a Hu bed, and played three tunes for him. After finishing, he got in the car. The host and the guest did not exchange a single word.
During the Zhongchao period, there were people who admired the Tao and went to Wang Yifu to consult about their doubts. The king on duty had talked a lot yesterday, and was very quiet, so he did not reply. He said to the guest, "I am not feeling well now. Pei Yimin is also here. You can go and ask him."
Auspicious is the host鈥檚 exemption. It starts at night and the morning is in mourning. The mourning period is the same as before. Ziyou said: 鈥淎fter the auspicious period, even those who should not wear mourning must wear mourning, and then they can wear mourning again. "When you are naked, when a senior official arrives, even if you are supposed to dance, you should stop dancing and bow, then dance again, then dance again, then dance again. For scholars, after the dance is done, they should dance again and then bow, not dance again. The funeral of senior officials is a small sacrifice. After the funeral, they cry and pay tribute, all of which are large sacrifices. The funeral of junior officials is a special sacrifice. After the funeral, they cry and pay tribute, all of which are small sacrifices. When the funeral is called by the oracle, the descendants are called Ai, the husband is called Nai, and the brothers are called Mou. The oracle for the burial of one's brothers is called Bo Zi Mou.
The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.
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