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In ancient times, the seams of the hat were shrunk, but now, the seams are horizontal; so the hat of mourning is auspicious, which is not the ancient way. Zengzi said to Zisi: "Ji! When I was in mourning for my parents, I did not drink water for seven days." Zisi said: "The ancient kings established the rituals, those who passed by should bow down to reach it, and those who did not reach it should stand on tiptoe to reach it. Therefore, when a gentleman is in mourning for his parents, he should not drink water for three days, and he can only stand up after being caned." Zengzi said: "If small merits are not taxed, then distant brothers will never mourn, is that right?"
Lu Aigong asked Confucius, "Master, are your clothes Confucian clothes?" Confucius replied, "When I was young, I lived in Lu and wore a Fengye robe. When I grew up, I lived in Song and wore a Zhangfu hat. I have heard that a gentleman's learning is extensive, and his clothes are rustic; I don't know Confucian clothes."
When Taifu Xie was sailing eastward, a villain was guiding the boat, sometimes slowing down, sometimes speeding up, sometimes stopping, sometimes waiting, and also letting the boat go sideways, causing it to hit people and crash into the shore. The Duke did not reprimand him at first. People say that you are never angry or happy. I once accompanied my brother on his return from a funeral in the west. It was a rainy day and we were all drunk, so I couldn't do anything about it. The Duke then took the carriage pillar and hit the driver with a very loud and fierce sound. Water is calm and gentle in nature, but it rushes violently when it enters a narrow passage. The local people are well aware that in a remote and isolated place, it is impossible to preserve their purity.
Ji Zhongsan was about to be executed in the East Market, but his expression remained unchanged. He asked for a zither and played Guangling San. At the end of the piece, he said, "Yuan Xiaoni once asked to learn this song, but I refused. Now Guangling San has been lost!" Three thousand students from the Imperial College wrote a letter to him, asking him to be their teacher, but he was not allowed. King Wen also regretted it.
A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
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