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Jin Xianwenzi got married, and the Jin officials went to the wedding. Zhang Lao said, "What a beautiful wedding! What a magnificent wedding! Sing here, cry here, and gather the nation here." Wenzi said, "Wu can sing here, cry here, and gather the nation here. This is the key to following the previous officials in the nine capitals." He bowed twice to the north. Gentlemen call him good at chanting and praying.
What is the three-year mourning period? It is said that it is to be established according to the feelings, so as to decorate the group, distinguish the relatives and the relatives, and practice the rules, but it cannot be increased or decreased. Therefore, it is said that there is no way to change. The wound is big and the time is long, and the pain is severe and the recovery is slow. The three-year mourning period is established according to the feelings, so as to be the most painful. Cutting the mourning clothes and wearing a stick, living in a lean-to, eating porridge, sleeping on straw and pillows, is to decorate the most painful. The three-year mourning period ends in twenty-five months; the grief is not over, the longing is not forgotten, but the mourning is ended in this way. Isn’t it that there is a limit to sending off the dead and a limit to reviving the living? All living creatures between heaven and earth, with blood and breath, must have knowledge, and all sentient creatures know how to love their own kind. Now, if a large bird or beast loses its flock, after a month or more, it will return to its hometown, fly back and forth, cry, hesitate, and then leave. Even small birds, such as sparrows, still chirp for a while before leaving. Therefore, no one with blood and breath knows better than humans, so humans love their relatives until death. If you are with a person who is obsessed with adultery, he will forget about his death in the morning and follow him in the evening, which is no better than birds and beasts. How can they live together without chaos? If you are with a gentleman who is well-mannered, the three-year mourning period will be completed in twenty-five months, like a team of horses passing through a gap, but it will continue, which is endless. Therefore, the ancient kings set up the middle and set rules for them, so that they can form a culture and reason, and then they will let it go.
The Master said, "Go back! A gentleman is concealed yet visible; he is not pretentious yet dignified; he is not harsh yet powerful; he does not speak but is trustworthy." The Master said, "A gentleman does not misstep with others, does not mismatch with others, does not mislead with others. Hence, a gentleman's appearance is enough to be feared, his expression is enough to be feared, and his words are enough to be trusted. It is said in Fu Xing, 'Be respectful and cautious, and do not choose what to say.'" The Master said, "The reason why the clothes and the clothes do not follow each other is that we want the people not to offend each other." The Master said, "When offering sacrifices with utmost respect, do not follow them with music; when attending the morning with utmost argument, do not follow them with fatigue." The Master said, "A gentleman is cautious so as to avoid calamity, is sincere so as not to cover up, and is respectful so as to avoid shame." The Master said, "When a gentleman is solemn and respectful, he becomes stronger day by day; when he is idle and careless, he becomes more lazy day by day. A gentleman does not spend a day busying himself, as if it were not the whole day." The Master said, "Be cautious in serving ghosts and gods, and choose a day and a month to meet the king, for fear that the people will not respect him." The Master said, "If you insult me, you will not be afraid of death." The Master said, "No words are not spoken, no manners are not to see each other; to wish that the people would not disrespect each other. The Book of Changes says: ‘The first divination is reported, the second and third divinations are reported, and if it is disrespected, then it is not reported.’”
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