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Hua Xin treated his sons and daughters very strictly. Even in a quiet room, he was as strict as if they were in the court. The brothers Chen Yuanfang indulged in tenderness and love, and the two families did not deviate from the track of Yongxi.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
The Book of Songs says: "When wearing brocade, one should still wear a plain cloth." This is because it is disliked that the pattern is conspicuous. Therefore, the way of a gentleman is to be obscure but brighter day by day; the way of a villain is to be clear but disappear day by day. The way of a gentleman is to be indifferent but not disgusting, to be simple but elegant, to be warm but reasonable, to know the nearness of the far, to know the direction of the wind, to know the obviousness of the subtle, and to be able to enter virtue. The Book of Songs says: "Although he is hidden, he is also as bright as Confucius!" Therefore, a gentleman is not guilty when he examines himself, and has no evil in his ambition. What a gentleman cannot reach is what people cannot see! The Book of Songs says: "Even if the prime minister is in your room, he is not ashamed of the leaking roof." Therefore, a gentleman is respectful without moving, and trustworthy without speaking. The Book of Songs says: "When he reports a favor, he does not speak, and there is no dispute at the time." Therefore, a gentleman does not reward, but the people are encouraged, and does not get angry, but the people are as powerful as a sword. The Book of Songs says: "Don't show your virtue! The hundred officials will punish you." Therefore, a gentleman is sincere and respectful, and the world is peaceful. The Book of Songs says: "I have a clear mind, and I do not make loud noises or use color." Confucius said: "Sounds and colors are the least important in transforming the people." The Book of Songs says: "Virtue is like a hair." Even a hair has its own rules. The heaven's carriage is soundless and odorless, it is the ultimate!
A good student, the teacher is relaxed and the work is twice as good, and then he follows the mediocre; a bad student, the teacher is diligent and the work is half, and then he follows and complains. A good questioner is like attacking a hard wood, first the easy part, then the hard part, and when it takes a long time, they talk to each other to understand; a bad questioner is the opposite. A good questioner is like striking a bell, if you strike it with a small sound, it will ring softly, and if you strike it with a big sound, it will ring loudly, wait until it is calm, and then it will sound its full sound; a bad questioner is the opposite. These are all ways to advance learning.
When Liu Daozhen was young, he often fished in the marshes. He was good at singing and whistling, and everyone who heard him would linger. There was an old woman who recognized that he was not an ordinary person and was very pleased with his singing and whistling, so she killed a pig and presented it to him. Daozhen ate all the pork and didn't even thank him. Seeing that she was not full, the old woman offered another piece of pork, ate half and the rest, and then returned it. Later he became a Lang of the Ministry of Personnel, and the old woman became a Xiao Lingshi, and Daozhen made great use of her. He didn't know why, so he asked his mother, and his mother told him. So he brought an ox and some wine to Daozhen, who said, "Go away! Go away! I have nothing to offer you."
Gu Yue and Jian Wen are of the same age, but Gu Yue's hair turned white earlier. Jianwen asked, "Why did you become white first?" He replied, "The cattails and willows fall in autumn, while the pines and cypresses grow stronger after frost."
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