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When Wang Changshi climbed Mount Mao, he cried bitterly, saying, "Wang Boyu of Langya will eventually die for love."
The two sons of Yang Huai, the governor of Jizhou, Qiao and Mao, were both born with the intention of becoming talented people. Huai was friendly with Pei Wei and Yue Guang, so he sent people to meet them. Huai was generous and open-minded. He loved Qiao's high rhyme and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is a little inferior." Guang was pure and honest. He loved Mao's prudent mind and said to Huai, "Qiao is as good as you, but Mao is even more outstanding." Huai laughed and said, "The superiority and inferiority of my two sons is the superiority and inferiority of Pei and Le." Commentators commented that although Qiao had high rhyme, he was not prudent enough; while Le's words were appropriate. However, they are both outstanding talents that came later.
Use less than half for the pot throwing ceremony, and use all for the archery ceremony. The archer, the chief judge, and the standing scholar all belong to the guest party; the musicians, the messengers, and the boys all belong to the host party.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Xie Gong said: "The wise and sages leave people behind, and their leisure time is also close." His sons and nephews did not agree with him. The Duke sighed and said, "If Xi Chao heard this, he would never reach the Hehan River."
When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
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