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The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
When Jianwen was Fujun, he once went to the court with Huan Xuanwu, and they took turns to let each other sit in front. Xuanwu had no choice but to go ahead, so he said: "Bo also holds the spear and drives ahead for the king." Jianwen said: "It is said that 'no matter how small or big, follow the king in his march'."
Confucius said: "How does an archer shoot? How does he listen? He who follows the sound and shoots without missing the target is only a virtuous man! How can an unworthy man hit the target?" The Book of Songs says: "Shoot what he has, in order to pray for your wine." Pray means to ask; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse the wine. Wine is used to nourish the elderly and to cure illness; to ask for the target and refuse the wine is to refuse nourishment.
The funeral of the deceased below the standard of mourning is not allowed: first go to the tomb, face west and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, face east, take the throne, cry and dance with the host, and then take the throne. If there is a guest, the host will bow to the guest and see him off; if there is a guest who arrives later, the host will bow to him as before. The attendant will tell them that the matter is over. Then he will wear a crown and go home, enter the door on the left, face north and cry out loud, remove the hemp cloth, then take the throne in the east, bow to the guest and dance. When the guest leaves, the host will bow to see him off. After crying again, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance; after crying for the third time, the host will not bare the hemp cloth, then dance. After three days, the mourning period will be completed, and after crying for the fifth time, The lord of the house reported that the matter was completed.
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
Wang Hun’s second wife was a daughter of Yan from Langya. At that time, Wang was the governor of Xuzhou. After exchanging greetings, Wang was about to return the greeting, but the onlookers all said, "The king is a marquis and a governor of the state, and the new bride is a citizen of the state. I am afraid there is no way for us to return the greeting." So the king stopped. Wu Zi was afraid that his father did not respond to his greeting and the ceremony was not completed, so he was afraid that they were not husband and wife; he did not bow for him and said that he was Yan's concubine. The Yan family was ashamed of it. Because of his noble family background, I dared not leave.
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