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Zixia had just finished mourning and came to see me. I played the zither, but it didn't harmonize, and it didn't make any sound when I played it. He stood up and said, "I have not forgotten my grief. The ancient kings established the rites, and I dare not go beyond them."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Fan Xuanping was a man, good at wisdom, and sometimes lost the official position in Dongyang, Huan Da Sima was in Nanzhou, so he went to voteChang Qing. "When Fan Cai sat down, Huan thanked him for coming from afar. Although Fan really wanted to submit to Huan, he was afraid that he would damage his reputation by following the trend, so he said, "Although I miss my ancestors, I have a dead son buried here, so I came to visit him. "Huan was disappointed and stood there in vain, and all was lost for a moment.
A guest once asked Chen Jifang, "What merits and virtues did your lord Taiqiu have to deserve such high reputation?" Jifang replied, "My lord is like a laurel tree growing on the edge of Mount Tai, which is ten thousand feet high and unfathomably deep. It is moistened by the sweet dew above and moistened by the deep spring below. At that time, how could the laurel tree know the height of Mount Tai and the depth of the deep spring? It didn't know whether it had merits or not!"
When Fan Xuan was eight years old, he was picking vegetables in the back garden and accidentally injured his finger and started crying loudly. Someone asked, "Are you in pain?" He replied, "It's not pain, I just dare not damage my body or hair, that's why I'm crying!" Xuan Jie was a frugal person, so when Han Yuzhang gave him a hundred pieces of silk, he refused to accept them. He reduced the amount by fifty pieces, but still refused to accept it. In this way, he reduced it by half, until it reached one horse, but he never accepted it again. The Queen of Han was riding in the same carriage with Fan. The Queen cut two feet of flesh in the carriage and gave it to Fan, saying, "Would anyone rather let his wife be without a scarf?" Fan laughed and accepted it.
When Prime Minister Wang visited Yangzhou, he was greeted by hundreds of guests, all of whom had a favorable look on their faces. There were only a guest named Ren from Linhai and several Hu people with whom he had not yet gotten along. The Duke therefore went to Ren's border and said, "If you leave, there will be no one left in Linhai." Ren was overjoyed. As he passed by a Hu people, he snapped his fingers and said, "Lanjie, Lanjie." All the Hu people laughed, and everyone sitting there was happy.
Zengzi and his guests stood by the door, and his followers hurried out. Zengzi asked, "Where are you going?" He said, "My father died, and I will go out to cry in the alley." He said, "I will go back and cry next to you." Zengzi faced north and mourned.
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