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The guest pays the host, the host pays the intermediary, the intermediary pays the other guests, the young and the old follow their seniority, and finally the one who washes and washes is there. I know that he can respect the elders and not leave them out.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
General Yu fought with Su Jun and was defeated. He led more than ten people and fled west in a small boat. The soldiers were plundering each other and the arrow accidentally hit the beam worker, who fell down at the sound of the arrow. Everyone on the boat turned pale and dispersed. Liang remained unmoved and said slowly, "How can this hand be used to thieve chopsticks!" Everyone then calmed down.
No one can escape the funeral procession unless they follow the coffin and cry. In all funerals, from minor to major, no bathing is allowed unless there are auspicious signs such as the mourning clothes and the funeral rites. In the case of a funeral of a young man, after the burial, if someone asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased; but if no one asks to see the deceased, then he can see the deceased. In the case of a minor funeral, then he can see the deceased if he asks to see the deceased. In the case of a major funeral, then he does not need to hold the coffin. Only in the case of a parent’s funeral, one does not need to weep and see the deceased. In the case of a three-year funeral, auspicious signs are followed; in the case of a full-term funeral, one cries and follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a nine-month funeral, after the burial, one follows the deceased’s funeral; in the case of a minor funeral, after the funeral, one follows the deceased’s funeral. Zeng Shen asked Zeng Zi, “Is there a fixed sound for crying parents?” Zeng Zi replied, “A baby lost its mother on the way, so what fixed sound is there?” ”
Six rituals: capping, marriage, mourning, sacrifice, hometown, and meeting. Seven teachings: father and son, brothers, husband and wife, monarch and minister, elder and younger, friends, and guests. Eight policies: food, clothing, work, differences, measurement, quantity, number, and system.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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