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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Prime Minister Wang crossed the river, he said that he had often talked about Taoism with Pei Chenggong, Ruan Qianli and other wise men by the Luo River. Yang Man said, "I have promised you this a long time ago, why do you need it again?" The king said, "I didn't say I needed it, I just wanted it and it was not available at that time!"
Yin Jingzhou once asked Yuan Gong: "What is the essence of Yi?" He replied: "The essence of Yi is sensation." Yin said: "The collapse of Tongshan Mountain in the west and the echo of Lingzhong in the east, is this Yi?" Yuan Gong smiled but did not answer.
Kong Wenju had two sons, the elder one was six years old and the younger one was five years old. While his father was sleeping during the day, the younger one would steal wine from the bedside and drink it. The eldest son asked, "Why don't you bow?" He replied, "I stole, so how can I bow?"
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
If the guest is not here to eat or drink, then a table will be laid out with a space of one meter between them. The host kneels at the table, and the guest kneels and touches the table to leave. The guest left the seat, but the host refused. The guest stepped onto the mat and sat down. If the host doesn't ask, the guest shouldn't raise his question first. I will improvise, so don't be embarrassed. Use both hands to pull the clothes up to the ruler. Do not tear your clothes and do not step on your feet.
When Lu Shiheng first entered Luoyang, he asked Zhang Gong where he should visit; Liu Daozhen was one of them. After Lu left, Liu was still in mourning. He was fond of drinking, and after the ceremony, he said nothing else at first, only asked: "There is a long-handled Hu Lu in Dongwu, can you get some?" The Lu brothers were very disappointed and regretted going.
The emperor’s meal was nine shells; the princes had seven, the officials had five, and the scholars had three. The scholars were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in that month; the officials were buried in the third month, and the mourning ended in the fifth month; the princes were buried in the fifth month, and the mourning ended in the seventh month. The scholars had three Yu, the officials had five, and the princes had seven. The princes sent people to offer condolences, and the next one was: the one who brought the coffin and the offerings and arrived, all finished the work on the same day, and the next one was like this. When a king is ill, he asks countless questions; a scholar asks only once. When a king is with a noble official, he does not eat meat at the funeral, and does not play music at the funeral; when a scholar is with a funeral, he does not play music. When the main coffin is carried, the princes hold the ropes of 500 people, four ropes, all of whom hold their mouths shut. The Sima holds the bell, eight on the left and eight on the right, and the carpenters hold feathered banners to support the coffin. When a senior official is buried, when the main coffin is carried, there are 300 people holding the lead, four on the left and four on the right, and the coffin is covered with thatch.
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