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The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. 鈥 He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
There are six ways to serve: one is to be close to relatives, two is to respect the elders, three is to name, four is to go in and out, five is to respect the elders, and six is 鈥嬧媡o follow the service. There are six ways to serve: following relatives, following disciples, following with service but not with service, following without service but with service, following the heavy and then the light, and following the light and then the heavy.
Xi Sikong was in the Northern Palace, and Huan Xuanwu disliked him for holding military power. Xi was always in the dark about the situation, so he sent a letter to Huan: "I want to help the royal family and repair the gardens and tombs." The crown prince Jiabin was on a journey. When he heard the letter on the road, he hurriedly took the letter, read it, and found it was torn into pieces, so he returned. He also wrote a letter, explaining that he was old and sick, and could not bear the idleness of others, so he wanted to ask for some vacant land to support himself. Xuanwu was overjoyed when he received the letter, and immediately ordered the transfer of the Duke to supervise five counties and be the prefect of Kuaiji.
This month is the beginning of winter. Three days before the beginning of winter, the historian reported to the emperor: On a certain day, winter begins, and the great virtue is in the water. The emperor then stood up. On the day of the beginning of winter, the emperor personally led the three dukes, nine ministers, and officials to welcome winter in the northern suburbs, and then returned to reward the dead and provide relief to the orphans and widows. In this month, the emperor ordered the historian to use tortoise shells and divination to judge the good and bad fortunes, so as to investigate the favoritism, so that no crime could be covered up.
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