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Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
After the heaven and the earth are united, all things will flourish. The wedding ceremony is the beginning of all ages. It is taken from people of different surnames, so as to attach to distant and distinguish. The gift must be sincere, and the words must be shy. Tell them to be honest and trustworthy; trust is to serve people; trust is the virtue of women. Be one with them and never change throughout life. Therefore, the husband will not marry after his death. Men personally welcome the bride, and men come before women, which is the meaning of hardness and softness. Heaven comes before earth, and the monarch comes before the ministers, and their meaning is the same. Holding the heart to meet each other is a respectful and clear farewell. There is a difference between men and women, then the father and son are close, the father and son are close, then righteousness is born, righteousness is born, then ritual is established, and then all things are at peace. No difference and no righteousness is the way of animals. The son-in-law is close to the chariot and the reins, which is close to the husband. To be close to the husband is to be close to the husband. Respect and close to the husband is how the ancient kings won the world. When going out of the gate, the man leads the woman, and the woman follows the man. This is the beginning of the righteousness of husband and wife. Women are those who follow others; when young, they follow their fathers and brothers, when married, they follow their husbands, and when their husbands die, they follow their sons. A husband is a husband; a husband is one who knows how to lead others. The black crown and fasting are the yin and yang of ghosts and gods. The general will be the master of the altar and the successor of the ancestors, so how can we not pay respect? Eating together is the same as being of equal status. Therefore, women have no titles, follow the husband's title, and sit with the husband's teeth. The utensils are made of pottery gourds, which is a respect for etiquette. The three kings used pottery gourds to make the chariot. At dawn, women wash their hands and feed the food. When the uncle and aunt have finished eating, the women eat the rest for themselves. The uncle and aunt descend from the west steps, and the wife descends from the east steps, which means they are given to the room. The wedding ceremony does not use music, which means the Yin is deep and yin. Music is the Yang Qi. The wedding ceremony does not celebrate, which means the order of people.
"Confucian scholars are approachable but not robbed; they can be approached but not forced; they can be killed but not humiliated. Their residence is not lewd, and their food is not humid; their mistakes can be slightly identified but not counted. There are such people who are resolute. Confucians have loyalty and trustworthiness as armor, propriety and righteousness as oars; they act with benevolence and live with righteousness. Even if there is a tyranny, they will not change their position. They are like this in their self-reliance.
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