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When Emperor Wu of Wei died, Emperor Wen took all of Emperor Wu's palace ladies to serve him. When the emperor fell ill, Empress Bian went out to see him. When the Empress Dowager entered the house, she saw that the attendant was the one she once loved and favored. The Queen Mother asked, "When did you come?" He replied, "My soul is in hiding." She did not come forward and sighed, "Dogs and rats will not eat the rest of you, so death is inevitable!" When they arrived at the tomb, she still did not come.
When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
When Chen Yuanfang was eleven years old, he waited for Yuan Gong. Yuan Gong asked, "Your lord is a virtuous man in Taiqiu, and people far and near praise him. What do you do?" Yuan Fang said, "My old father is in Taiqiu. He comforts the strong with virtue and the weak with kindness. He lets them do whatever they want, and they become more respected over time." Yuan Gong said, "I used to be the magistrate of Ye, and I did just that. I wonder if your lord follows my example or if I follow your father?" Yuan Fang said, "Duke Zhou and Confucius were born in different eras, but they were the same everywhere. Duke Zhou did not learn from Confucius, and Confucius did not learn from Duke Zhou."
For a man who is a son, the three gifts are not as great as a carriage and horses. Therefore, his neighbors praised him for his filial piety, his brothers and relatives praised him for his kindness, his colleagues praised him for his brotherly love, his friends praised him for his benevolence, and his acquaintances praised him for his trustworthiness. Seeing my father’s insistence, I dare not advance unless I am told to, I dare not retreat unless I am told to, and I dare not answer unless I am asked. This is the behavior of a filial son.
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
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