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Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
Wang Yifu was elegant and fond of the profound. He was always jealous of his wife's greed and corruption, and never mentioned the word "money". The woman wanted to test it, so she asked her maid to put money around the bed, but she couldn't do it. When Yifu woke up in the morning, he saw Qian He walking by and called out to his maid, "Pick up that thing."
Jia Chong’s ex-wife was the daughter of Li Feng. Feng was executed, and the couple divorced and moved to the border. Later he was pardoned and returned, and Chong had already married Guo's daughter. Emperor Wu specially appointed two ladies on his left and right. Li lived separately and refused to return to the residence. Guo said to Chong, "I want to go to Sheng Li." Chong said, "He is a man of integrity and talent. It is better for you not to go." Guo then showed her dignity and brought many maids with her. When he arrived and entered the house, Li stood up to greet him. Guo didn't realize his legs were bent, so he knelt and bowed again. After returning, he told Chong, who asked, "What can I tell you?"
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
Xun Fengqian and his wife were very close. In winter, when his wife suffered from a fever, he went out to the courtyard to cool himself down, and then used his body to warm the fever. After his wife died, Feng Qian also died young. Therefore he was ridiculed by the world. Feng Qian said: "A woman's virtue is not worth mentioning, her beauty should be the main thing." Pei Ling heard this and said: "This is a matter of excitement, not a statement of great virtue. I hope that future generations will not forget this saying."
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