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Xiahou Taichu and Chen Benshan of Guangling. Ben and Xuan were feasting in front of Ben's mother. Ben's younger brother Qian came back and went straight in and reached the door of the hall. Taichu then stood up and said, "We can achieve unity, but we cannot mix them."
Those who follow others in mourning should not mourn until their parents are gone. Those who follow others should mourn even when their parents are dead. If a concubine leaves a female ruler, she should not mourn for the female ruler's son. According to etiquette, there is no sacrifice without the king. The crown prince does not lower his wife's parents; his wife is the same as the son of a senior official. If the father is a scholar and the son is the emperor or a prince, then sacrifices are made to the emperor or a prince, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If the father is the emperor or a prince and the son is a scholar, sacrifices are made to the scholar, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If a woman leaves the house when she is in mourning, she should be removed. If she leaves the house before mourning for her parents, she should be mourned for three years. If she leaves the house after mourning, it is over. If she returns without mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time; if she returns after mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time.
Xie Gong once went west with Xie Wan and passed by Wu County. A Wan wanted to go with Wang Tianxu, but the Taifu said, "I'm afraid he won't have to repay you, so he's not interested!" Wan still insisted, but the Taifu refused to change his mind, so Wan went alone. After sitting for a while, the king came in and thanked him with a very pleased look, thinking that he was being treated well. After a long time, he came out with his hair dishevelled, and did not sit down. He still sat on the couch in the middle of the courtyard, drying his hair in the sun, with an arrogant look on his face, and no intention of responding to the conversation. After thanking him, he returned. Before reaching the boat, he called out to the Grand Tutor. An said: "Achi will not do that!"
When riding a chariot, go out with the blade first and go in with the blade behind. The army should be on the left and the soldiers should be on the right. The host should be respectful to guests, be respectful at sacrifices, be sad at funerals, and be happy at meetings. The army should be prepared for danger and hide their intentions.
Wang Youjun and Xie Taifu climbed up Yecheng together. Xie Youran has far-reaching thoughts and lofty ambitions. The king said to Xie, "Yu of Xia worked hard for the king, his hands and feet were calloused; King Wen worked late and had no time to spare. Now there are many fortifications in the suburbs, and everyone should contribute. But empty talk will waste time, and superficial writing will hinder the important things. I am afraid it is not suitable for the present." Xie replied, "Qin appointed Shang Yang, and it perished in the second generation. Could it be that idle talk led to disaster?"
When serving a gentleman, the gentleman yawned and stretched himself, picked up his walking stick and shoes, and saw that the sun was setting. The attendant then asked to leave. When sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if the gentleman asks about the affairs of the day, the gentleman should stand up and answer. When one is sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if someone comes and says, "A moment," hoping to hear back, one should stand aside and wait. Do not listen sideways, do not respond loudly, do not look lustfully, and do not be lazy. When walking, do not be arrogant; when standing, do not limp; when sitting, do not spread your legs; when sleeping, do not lie prone. Keep your hair down and don't take off your hat. Don't expose your clothes when you are tired. Don't lift your skirt in the heat.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zi Zhang came to see me after he had removed his mourning clothes. He gave me a zither, and played it in harmony. He played it and made a sound. He stood up and said, "I dare not fail to follow the rites established by the ancient kings."
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