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When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
From benevolence to relatives, the order is up to the ancestors; from righteousness to ancestors, the order is down to the ancestors. Therefore, the way of human beings is to be close to relatives. Respecting the ancestors means respecting the clan, respecting the clan means gathering the clan, gathering the clan means the ancestral temple is strict, the ancestral temple is strict, the land is valued, the land is valued, the people are loved, loving the people means the punishment is moderate, the punishment is moderate, the people are at peace, the people are at peace, the money is sufficient, the money is sufficient, all the aspirations are fulfilled, all the aspirations are fulfilled, the rituals and customs are followed, and the rituals and customs are followed, and then there is joy. The Book of Songs says: "If you do not show yourself, you will not be disgraced by others." This is what it means.
Zhai Daoyuan from Nanyang and Zhou Zinan from Runan were friends since childhood and they hid in Xunyang together. General Yu persuaded Zhou about current affairs, and Zhou took office. Zhai Bing's determination became even stronger. Later, Zhou visited Zhai, but Zhai refused to speak to him.
Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.
The one who presents the table and the staff should brush it. The one who imitates a horse or a sheep should lead it with his right hand; the one who imitates a dog should lead it with his left hand. The one who holds a bird should hold it with his left hand. The one who decorates lambs and geese should hold it with a silk cloth. The one who receives pearls and jade should hold it with his hands. The one who receives a bow and sword should hold it with his sleeves. The one who drinks from a jade cup should not wave it. Anyone who asks for a bow, sword, bag, or basket to ask for a favor should hold it as if he were receiving a favor, just like a messenger.
A gentleman practices etiquette and does not seek to change customs. The rituals of sacrifice, mourning clothes, and crying positions are all the same as those of his country. He should carefully revise the laws and implement them carefully. After leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are listed in the court, and there is an imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. If brothers and clansmen are still alive, they should report to the clan queen; after leaving the country for three generations, the title and salary are not listed in the court, and there is no imperial edict to the country when entering and leaving. Only on the day of the new country, the law of the new country should be followed. A gentleman does not change his name after he is orphaned. If he becomes noble after being orphaned, he does not give his father a posthumous title. In mourning, before the burial, read the funeral ceremony; after the burial, read the sacrificial ceremony; after the mourning, read the music.
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