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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Chen Ying was from Dongyang. He cultivated moral conduct at a young age and was well-known among his fellow villagers. At the end of the Qin Dynasty, when chaos broke out, the people of Dongyang wanted to take Ying as their master, but his mother said, "No! As your wife, I have rarely seen poverty and humbleness. Once I become rich and noble, it will be unlucky! It is better to take the army and make it yours: if it succeeds, you will get less benefit; if it fails, you will suffer the consequences."
A senior official starts to work at the age of seventy. If he is not thanked, he must be given a stick and forced to do the work with women. Go to all directions, riding in a safe carriage. If one calls himself "old man", he will use his name when he is in his own country; if one is asked about something in another country, he will be sure to tell them the customs.
Wang Junfu once blamed a woman for not wearing the remaining robes, so she stayed in her room with her chopsticks closed and did not allow anyone to go out. As a result, he was hungry for days and was lost, not knowing where to go. Later, due to the combination of fate, he was on the verge of death and was finally able to get out.
Taiwei Wang said: "I see that Pei Linggong is smart and bright, surpassing others, and has extraordinary wisdom. If he can be revived after death, I will die with him." Some people said it was Wang Rong's words.
To think about the constitution and seek the good is enough to be famous, but not enough to move the masses; to follow the virtuous and understand the distant is enough to move the masses, but not enough to transform the people. If a gentleman wants to transform the people and establish customs, he must learn!
Ritual is to the right state: it is like a scale to weight, a ruler to straightness, and a compass to squareness. Therefore, if the scale is honestly hung, it cannot be deceived by the weight; if the ruler is honestly laid out, it cannot be deceived by the crookedness; if the rules are honestly set up, it cannot be deceived by the squareness and roundness; a gentleman examines the rites and cannot be accused of treachery. Therefore, those who respect the rites and follow the rites are called the gentlemen with the rules; those who do not respect the rites and do not follow the rites are called the people without the rules. It is the way of respect and yielding. Therefore, when serving the ancestral temple, one is respectful; when entering the court, the noble and the humble have their positions; when living at home, the father and son are close and the brothers are harmonious; when living in the village, the elders and the young are in order. Confucius said: "To settle the state and govern the people, nothing is better than rites." This is what he meant.
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