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When Kong Wenju was ten years old, he went to Luo with his father. At that time, Li Yuanli was famous and served as the Inspector of the Capital Region. Only those with outstanding talents and reputation, as well as those who were his cousins, were allowed to visit him. When Wen Ju arrived at the gate, he said to the clerk, "I am the relative of Lord Li." After being let in, he sat down in front. Yuanli asked, "What is the relationship between you and me?" He replied, "In the past, my ancestor Confucius and your ancestor Boyang had a teacher-student relationship. So you and I have been friends for generations." Yuanli and the guests were all surprised. When Taizhong Daifu Chen Wei arrived later, people told him the same words. Wei said, “A child who is very smart when he is young may not be a good person when he grows up!” Wen Ju said, “I think you must have been very smart when you were young!” Wei was very embarrassed.
Wang Anfeng suffered hardships, but he still had an extraordinary character. Pei Ling went to offer condolences and said, "If grief can really hurt people, Jun Chong will surely be criticized for destroying his character."
When Duke Huan was young, he was as famous as the Duke of Yin, and they always had a competitive spirit. Huan asked Yin, "How do you compare to me?" Yin said, "I have been dealing with myself for a long time, so I would rather be myself."
Grand Tutor Xie asked the chief clerk Lu Tui, "Why did Zhang Ping write a eulogy for his mother but not for his father?" Tui replied, "It is because a man's virtue is shown in his deeds, and a woman's beauty cannot be revealed without a eulogy."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xie Wan was appointed as the governor of Yuzhou. He was newly appointed and was about to go to the capital in the west. He was seen off for many days and Xie was exhausted. So Minister Gao went there and sat down with Xie, and asked, "You are now in charge of the provincial governorship and in charge of managing the western borders. How do you govern?" Xie roughly told him his intention. Gao then wrote several hundred words to express his gratitude. Xie then stood up and sat up. After Gao left, Xie chased after him and said, "A'ling has some talent." Therefore, Xie was able to stay until the end.
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