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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
People of Pei Pushe's time called it a forest of conversation.
When Lu Shiheng first entered Luoyang, he asked Zhang Gong where he should visit; Liu Daozhen was one of them. After Lu left, Liu was still in mourning. He was fond of drinking, and after the ceremony, he said nothing else at first, only asked: "There is a long-handled Hu Lu in Dongwu, can you get some?" The Lu brothers were very disappointed and regretted going.
When Kong Junping was seriously ill, Yu Sikong was sent to Kuaiji to visit him. He asked him about his condition and even shed tears. After Yu got off the bed, Kong said with a sigh: "A real man is about to die, but instead of asking about the way to keep the country and the family safe, he pretends to be a child and asks!" When Yu heard this, he thanked him and asked him to talk.
Xiao Zhonglang is the father-in-law of Sun Chenggong. Liu Yin was sitting in Fujun, and was about to be appointed as the Minister of Rites. Liu Yin said, "I wonder if Xiao Zuzhou can be one of the Three Dukes? From then on, he has been able to do anything."
A good student, the teacher is relaxed and the work is twice as good, and then he follows the mediocre; a bad student, the teacher is diligent and the work is half, and then he follows and complains. A good questioner is like attacking a hard wood, first the easy part, then the hard part, and when it takes a long time, they talk to each other to understand; a bad questioner is the opposite. A good questioner is like striking a bell, if you strike it with a small sound, it will ring softly, and if you strike it with a big sound, it will ring loudly, wait until it is calm, and then it will sound its full sound; a bad questioner is the opposite. These are all ways to advance learning.
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