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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
The Master said: "Return As a person, choose the middle way. If you get one good thing, you will hold it firmly and never lose it. "
Xie Kun was the prefect of Yuzhang, and he was sent down to Shitou from the general's rank. Dun said to Kun, "I can no longer do anything virtuous." Kun said, "Why? From now on, I will just die and leave!" Dun again claimed illness and did not attend court. Kun told Dun, "Recently, although your actions are intended to preserve the country, your true intentions are not understood within the four seas. If you can attend court with the emperor, the ministers will be relieved and all things will be convinced. Rely on the people's support and follow their will, and retreat to serve the emperor. In this way, your achievements will be comparable to those of Yi Kuang, and your name will be passed down for thousands of years." People at that time regarded it as a famous saying.
When Liu Zhenchang first met Prime Minister Wang, it was a hot summer month. The Prime Minister used his belly to massage the chessboard and asked, "Why are you so tired?" After Liu left, someone asked, "What did you do when you met Lord Wang?" Liu said, "I didn't see anything unusual. I only heard him speak Wu dialect!"
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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