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When Huan Xuanwu died, Huan Nanjun was five years old and the mourning period had just ended. Huan's chariot and cavalry went to see off his former civil and military officials. He pointed to Nanjun and said, "These are all your family's former officials." Xuan responded by weeping loudly, and those around him were moved. The charioteer always looked at his own seat and said, "When Lingbao has grown up, this seat should be returned to him." He loved Ju more than his own son.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Yin Hongqiao was appointed as the governor of Yuzhang County, before his departure, he left with about a hundred letters. When they reached the stones, they threw them all into the water, and said, "Those who sink will sink, and those who float will float. Yin Hongqiao cannot write a letter."
When Nangong Jiang's wife's aunt died, the Master taught her to wear her hair in a bun, saying, "Don't follow others, don't follow others. The hairpin is made of hazel, one foot long and eight inches in total."
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
When Confucius was in Wei, he encountered the funeral of an old abbot. He went in and wept. When he left, he asked Zigong to persuade the charioteer and give him gifts. Zigong said, "I have never persuaded the charioteer for the funeral of my disciple. Is it too much to persuade the charioteer in the old abbot?" The Master said, "My fellow villagers went in and wept, and wept when they met a sad thing. I hate that I have no reason to cry. You should do it." When Confucius was in Wei, there were people attending the funeral, and the Master watched them and said, "How well they conduct the funeral! It is worthy of being a model. You should know it." Zigong said, "What is so good about you, Master?" He said, "When he went, he seemed to be longing, and when he returned, he seemed to be suspicious." Zigong said, "Is it better to return quickly and be anxious?" The Master said, "You know it, but I can't do it." When Yan Yuan died, he presented auspicious meat. Confucius went out to receive it, and then he played the zither and ate it.
Taifu Xie was the horseman of Duke Huan's company. When Duke Huan went to see Xie, Xie was combing his hair and quickly took out his clothes and hat. Duke Huan said, "Why bother with this?" Then they stayed down and talked until nightfall. After he left, he said to his attendants, "Have you ever seen such a person?"
When the body is restored, if there is a forest, the Yu people will set up steps; if there is no forest, the Di people will set up steps. The minor officials will be restored, and the restored ones will wear court clothes. The lord wears a roll, the wife wears a bowed Di; the senior official wears a black and red, the wife wears a jacket; the scholar wears a juebi, and the scholar's wife wears a tax dress. All of them rise from the east, walk in the middle room, face north three steps, throw the clothes in front, and the Si Ming receives them, and then descend from the northwest. If he is a guest, the official residence will be restored, but the private residence will not be restored; if he is in the wild, he will rise to the left hub of his carriage and restore. The clothes are not used to cover the body, nor are they used to bury it. When a woman is buried, she does not wear a robe. When a man is buried, he is called by his name, while a woman is called by her courtesy name. Only when crying is buried first, and then the funeral ceremony is performed.
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