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When marrying a woman to the emperor, it is said to prepare the people; to the king, it is said to prepare wine and liquor; to the minister, it is said to prepare sweeping.
The villagers, scholars, and gentlemen are respected between the houses, and the host and the guest share it. The cup contains dark wine, and its quality is valued. Shame comes out of the east room, and the host and the guest share it. The host should wash in the east, so that he can clean himself and serve the guests.
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
Ruan Zhongrong first had sex with a Xianbei maid from his aunt's family. When I was in mourning for my mother, my aunt had to move far away. At first, she said that she would keep the maid, but after she left, she was determined to leave. Zhongrong borrowed a donkey, chopsticks and heavy clothes from a guest and chased after him, but he returned with several horses. She said: "The human race must not be lost!" She was the mother of Yao Ji.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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