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A gentleman acts according to his position and does not want to go beyond it. If you are rich and noble, behave like a rich and noble person; if you are poor and humble, behave like a poor and humble person; if you are a barbarian, behave like a barbarian; if you are in trouble, behave like a barbarian. A gentleman is content with everything he does. If he is in a high position, he will not bully those below him; if he is in a low position, he will not rely on those above him; if he is upright and does not seek help from others, he will not have any complaints. He will not blame the heaven above him, nor will he blame others below him. Therefore, a gentleman lives in ease and waits for his fate. A villain takes risks and hopes for luck. Confucius said, "Shooting is like a gentleman. If he misses the target, he should look for the reason in himself."
Emperor Ming of Wei asked his younger brother Mao Zeng to sit with Xiahou Xuan, and people at that time said it was "reeds leaning against jade trees."
The mourning period of two periods is three years; the mourning period of two years is two years. The mourning period of the ninth and seventh months is three periods; the mourning period of the fifth month is two periods; the mourning period of the third month is one period. Therefore, offering sacrifices at a certain time is a ritual; and ending mourning at a certain time is the way. Offering sacrifices is not the ending of mourning. Those who are buried three years later must offer sacrifices again, and the mourning period is not the same as the time between offering sacrifices. The great merit is the mourning of the master, and if it is three years, then sacrifices must be offered twice. For friends, only the yu and bu are required. If a scholar or concubine has a son, she shall be mourned for him, but if she has no son, then it is not required. If the grandparents, fathers, brothers and sisters are not born, the father shall be taxed for mourning, but the person shall not be taxed. If the parents, wife and eldest son of the monarch are mourned, the monarch shall not be taxed after the mourning is ended. For close ministers, the monarch shall wear this kind of clothes; the rest shall follow the mourning and not follow the tax. Although the monarch does not know about the mourning, the ministers have already worn it.
Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.
When Xie An was young, he asked Ruan Guanglu to talk about the White Horse Theory. I wrote this essay to show Xie, but Xie did not understand what Ruan said at that time, so I consulted him again. Ruan then sighed and said, "Not only is it impossible to find someone who can explain it, it is also impossible to find someone who can explain it!"
Xie Gong served as Sima of Xuanwu, and had dozens of disciples under the command of Zhao Yuezi, Zhonglang of Tian Cao. Yuezi reported this to Emperor Xuanwu, who said, "Use only half of them." Zhao immediately employed all of them, saying, "When Anshi was in Dongshan, the gentry urged him to do things, so he might not be involved in personnel matters. Moreover, now that he is being selected from the local area, won't he go against their will?"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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