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When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.

Zeng Zi asked, 鈥淭he ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淲hen the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淲hen the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.鈥 Zixia asked, 鈥淚s it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淭he three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, 鈥楢 gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.鈥 Is this what it means?鈥 Zixia said, 鈥淭here is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"




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