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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
He Piaoqi was the governor of Kuaiji, and Yu Cun's younger brother Jian was the county chief clerk. As He was exhausted from seeing guests, he wanted to report to the regular guests and asked his family members to restrain themselves and select those who were acceptable to him, and then report to Yu Cun. Cun Shi was Shangzuo He, who was having dinner with Jian. He said, "The funeral is very good. Wait until I finish eating and then tell me." After the meal, he took a pen and wrote the funeral, saying, "If I can find a family leader like Guo Linzong, I will do as you say. Where did you find this person?" Jian stopped there.
The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
Duke Huan wanted to move the capital, so Sun Changle expressed his advice on Zhang Tuo's career. He was convinced that this proposal was very reasonable.
Yuan Yue is eloquent, good at speaking both long and short sentences, and also has precise logic. He first served as a military officer under Xie Xuan and was treated with great courtesy. After Ding Jian died, he returned to the capital after his mourning period, and only supported the Warring States Policy. He said to people, "When I was young, I read the Analects of Confucius and Laozi, and also read Zhuangzi and Yi Jing. These are all painful things. What good can they do? The most important thing in the world is the Strategies of the Warring States." After he went down, he persuaded King Sima Xiaowen, who treated him very well and almost disrupted his plans. Soon he was executed.
Those who follow others in mourning should not mourn until their parents are gone. Those who follow others should mourn even when their parents are dead. If a concubine leaves a female ruler, she should not mourn for the female ruler's son. According to etiquette, there is no sacrifice without the king. The crown prince does not lower his wife's parents; his wife is the same as the son of a senior official. If the father is a scholar and the son is the emperor or a prince, then sacrifices are made to the emperor or a prince, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If the father is the emperor or a prince and the son is a scholar, sacrifices are made to the scholar, and his body is dressed in scholar's clothes. If a woman leaves the house when she is in mourning, she should be removed. If she leaves the house before mourning for her parents, she should be mourned for three years. If she leaves the house after mourning, it is over. If she returns without mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time; if she returns after mourning, she should be mourned for a period of time.
Xu Yun was the Minister of Personnel and he employed many people from his hometown. Emperor Ming of Wei therefore sent the Tiger Guards to recruit him. His wife came out and warned Yun, saying, "A wise ruler can take things away with reason, but it is difficult to persuade him with emotion." When Yun arrived, the emperor questioned her. Yun replied, "'Tell me who you know.' I know the people from my hometown. Your Majesty, please check whether they are competent for the job. If not, I will bear the consequences." After the inspection, all the people were appointed to the right positions, so Yun was released. Yun's clothes were worn out, so the emperor ordered him to be given new clothes. At first, when Yun was arrested, the whole family cried. Ruan's new wife said calmly, "Don't worry, he will be back soon." She prepared millet porridge and waited for him, and soon he arrived.
Zhuge Ling and Prime Minister Wang were arguing about the priority of surnames and clans. Wang asked, "Why don't you say Ge or Wang, but Wang or Ge?" Ling said, "It's like saying donkey or horse, instead of saying horse or donkey. How can a donkey be better than a horse?"
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