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Chengren had a brother who died but did not wear mourning clothes. When he heard that Zigao would be the chief minister of Chengren, he wore mourning clothes. Chengren said, "Silkworms weave and crabs have ribs, fan weaves and cicadas have ribbons. When his brother died, Zigao wore mourning clothes."
When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
When Dai Andao was over ten years old, he painted in Wuguang Temple. When Wang Changshi saw him, he said, "This boy is not only good at painting, but will eventually become famous. I regret that I am old and will not see his prime!"
Wang Changshi was ill and his relatives and friends had difficulty communicating. When Lord Lin arrived, the gatekeeper immediately opened the door and said, "There is a stranger at the door. I dare not refuse to open the door." The king laughed and said, "This must be Lord Lin."
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Xun Ciming met Yuan Lang of Runan and asked about the people of Yingchuan. Ciming mentioned his brothers first. Lang laughed and said, "Can a scholar be selected only because of his kinship?" Ciming said, "You are questioning me, what scripture are you basing your opinion on?" Lang said, "I was just asking about the country's scholars, but you mentioned my brothers, so I blame them." Ciming said, "In the past, Qi Xi recommended people from within the country without missing their sons, and recommended people from outside the country without missing their enemies, which was considered to be very fair. The poem of King Wen of Gongdan did not discuss the virtues of Yao and Shun, but praised Wen and Wu, which is the meaning of loving one's relatives. The meaning of the Spring and Autumn Annals is to include one's country within and exclude other countries. Moreover, if one does not love one's relatives but loves others, is it not against virtue?"
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