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Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Fan Rongqi saw that Xi's super-vulgar feelings were not light, so he said, "Yi, Qi, Nest, Xu, Yiyi is famous. Why bother with the hard work of God and bitterness, and support Wuxie?"
Xie Gong once went west with Xie Wan and passed by Wu County. A Wan wanted to go with Wang Tianxu, but the Taifu said, "I'm afraid he won't have to repay you, so he's not interested!" Wan still insisted, but the Taifu refused to change his mind, so Wan went alone. After sitting for a while, the king came in and thanked him with a very pleased look, thinking that he was being treated well. After a long time, he came out with his hair dishevelled, and did not sit down. He still sat on the couch in the middle of the courtyard, drying his hair in the sun, with an arrogant look on his face, and no intention of responding to the conversation. After thanking him, he returned. Before reaching the boat, he called out to the Grand Tutor. An said: "Achi will not do that!"
The way to display the utensils is to display more and then accept them sparingly; to display sparingly and accept them all is fine. When rushing to the funeral of a brother, first go to the tomb and then the family, and cry for the position. For the funeral of someone you know, cry in the palace and then the tomb. A father shall not be the son of many sons and the outsiders shall be the next. Brothers with princes shall be beheaded. For minor mourning, the belt, hemp and linen shall not be cut off, and the woman shall return to repay the loss.
Zeng Zi asked: "How can the sacrifice not be performed?" Confucius said: "I heard that in a minor auspicious event, the host performs the sacrifice without offering sacrifices, and offers sacrifices to the guests, but the guests do not raise them. This is the etiquette. In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu performed sacrifices and offered sacrifices to the guests, which was not etiquette; Duke Xiao of Lu performed a major auspicious event, but did not offer sacrifices, which was also not etiquette. "
Zhou Pushe was a man of graceful appearance and good manners. When he went to see the prince, he hid himself among a few people at first, and the prince looked at him with a smile. After sitting down, he whistled and chanted proudly. The prince asked, "Do you want to be like Ji and Ruan?" He replied, "How dare I stay close to you and be far away from Ji and Ruan!"
"When I visited him, I found that it was Yi Shao, so I married my daughter to him.
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